Thought that whole "Speak now or forever hold your peace" jazz was just one of those traditions that no one pays much mind to? Well, as it turns not everyone opts to hold their peace—and the results are horrifying, to say the least. Props to these brides and wedding witnesses who managed to keep their cool when a disgruntled guest did the unthinkable—object in the middle of a ceremony—and lived to tell the tale on Reddit. (Seriously, can we take you all out for a drink—or two?) If you were considering asking your officiant to skip over that whole objection spiel (that future mother-in-law of yours has been making you nervous...), these nightmarish situations might just be the push you need.
The Ex Factor
"I was at a wedding where a girl stood up, talked trash about the wife, and confessed her love for the groom who was an ex [from] 10 years ago. We all knew she felt this way but didn't think she actually would do it at the wedding. The maid of honor slapped her in the face and the girl was kindly escorted out."
All Shook Up
"An Elvis impersonator did. It was hilarious! We weren't even in Vegas! We were in a small chapel in England. And, at the appropriate time, 'Elvis' came in, objected, sang one of his hits, then left the building. It was fantastic! The ceremony continued, and all went well."
"My grandpa got remarried to a woman he had known for two months, approximately three months after my grandmother's death. Fast forward to the wedding at my grandfather's house...[my] aunt stands up when the pastor asks if anyone has any objections and announces that her soon-to-be stepmother is a recent divorcee, quotes scripture from Matthew stating that anyone who marries a divorced woman is committing adultery, and says that anyone who supports or condones this marriage is also sinning. She sits down. The pastor just stares around for a minute like he has no idea what to do next. Then he clears his throat and says, 'Okay...' and goes on with the ceremony as if that didn't happen."
Altercations at the Altar
"I had a friend whose ex was [awful]. He hit her, played around on her, stalked her when she left him. Fast forward three years, she's met a wonderful guy and she's literally in the chapel getting married when [he] steps out from behind the darn confessional and objects at that certain time. He says 'I'm Catholic. She's Catholic! We're still married...' which was not true. She was legally free of him but he did not want to recognize it. Her soon-to-be husband stepped up [and] decked the guy. The cops ended up being called and they had to haul him out. Afterward, everybody just stood there until the groom took out a handkerchief, wiped her tears and then his bloody nose, took her hand and turned to the altar again. He just quietly then said 'Please continue, Father,' to the priest and they did, hand in hand."
"At one wedding, the bride's mother stood up and objected. She said, 'I love you, [groom], and I don't want anyone else as a son-in-law. But my daughter is exactly like me, and I wouldn't be able to let this wedding continue if I didn't warn you about the mess we make out of the lives of people we love. Make sure you want this,' then sat back down."
Not So Smooth Sailing
"My boyfriend's sister got married in a boat that was cruising down the Intracoastal Waterway in South Florida. During the vows, someone from a nearby unrelated boat shouted up 'DON'T DO IT! IT'S A MISTAKE!' to where we all were on the top deck. Fortunately, everyone just laughed."
"My mom objects, but she is far too passive-aggressive to have said anything at the wedding. I got eye rolls in the wedding photos and a check made out to just me with my maiden name for a wedding present. And she wonders why we chose to live closer to his parents."
"I didn't have a traditional church wedding, but my husband's mother showed up at the courthouse to yell one last time about how I probably have STIs (because I wasn't a virgin) [and] how I'd never belong in the family (we're different races)... I haven't spoken to her since."
Overly Dramatic MOB
"I attended a wedding where the mother of the bride pretended to faint during the ceremony. She wanted her daughter to marry an Indian man and she was marrying someone who was Jewish. I guess it was her final attempt to stall the wedding."
Man's Best Friend
"Girlfriend's wedding. Outdoors, under the trees, lots of people, but very quiet and peaceful—almost meditative. Comes to exactly that part, the pause after the words are spoken and the loudest, most excruciatingly mournful howl came out of the front row. The groom's gorgeous big white husky, Shadow, was letting go of everything he had kept inside to that point. The groom tried to command him to be quiet. The dog would have none of it."
Scandal and Betrayal
"When the pastor got to the part 'or forever hold your peace,' the bride said, 'Yes, I'd like to say something.' Then she turned around to her guests and said, 'I'd like to thank my maid of honor for sleeping with my fiancé last night." With that, she threw her bouquet and stormed off. The story even made it on the radio at the time."