Real Newlyweds Reveal the Hardest Part About Being Married

Sidney Morgan

Every couple wants to know what really changes after you two legally become one. Do you stop shutting the bathroom door? Will you call each other's parents Mom and Dad? Has the time come when you'll finally start cooking at home since you received all this sweet kitchenware from your registry?

On a more serious note, many people also want to know what happens to the love during this very first stage of marriage. Zola—the wedding planning/registry company—was curious, too, and so just in time for Valentine's Day, they asked hundreds of newlywed couples about their intimacy habits, V-day plans, and what they identified as the most difficult aspect of being hitched so far. The overall takeaway? Things are stressful, but good news—they also stay sexy!

The survey reports 71 percent of couples said intimacy with their spouse has not changed since their wedding day. More good news: approximately 62 percent wish they were intimate with their spouse more often. The less-good news is that newlyweds cited "prioritizing intimate time together in the bedroom" as the second greatest challenge of married life (in a glowing example of desperate measures, 36 percent of couples say they have scheduled sex with their significant other). As for the number one hardest part of marriage, it looks like it's the most boring thing you could think of: "non-financial administrative tasks, like a name change." Take care of the above, and then see a summary of the remaining key findings below!

The Hardest Part About Being Married so Far:

1. Administrative tasks (nonfinancial) like a name change (30 percent of couples)
2. Prioritizing intimate time together in the bedroom (17 percent)
3. Administrative financial tasks (12 percent)
4. Making time for each other outside of the bedroom (9 percent)
5. Deciding when to have kids (8 percent)
6. Dealing with the in-laws (7 percent)
7. Nothing about marriage has been hard (17 percent) [Ed. note: We ranked this last because we're guessing these couples have not yet transitioned from the honeymoon phase into the newlywed phase and their answers are therefore compromised. If you think we're wrong, please contact us so we can interview you about all your secrets!]

When Couples Said They Were Intimate Within the Last Year:

1. My spouse's birthday (78 percent)
2. The day after we got married (74 percent)
3. The day we got engaged (72 percent)
4. My birthday (66 percent)
5. The day after we got engaged (60 percent)
6. On our wedding night (58 percent)
7. Our anniversary (56 percent)
8. The day before our wedding (22 percent)

Roadblocks to Getting Intimate:

1. Long work hours
2. Stressful work environment
3. Stressful personal or family issues
4. Chores to do around the house
5. The bedroom has gotten monotonous

Plans to Get Intimate on Valentine's Day?

● "Definitely, it's the most romantic day of the year." (64 percent)
● "Probably not. It's on a Wednesday." (36 percent)

Will You Exchange Gifts?

No (53 percent)

How Much Will You Spend?

Less than $100 (88 percent)

What Valentine's Day Gift Would You Most Like to Receive?

1. An activity we can do together (such as concert tickets or a cooking class) (63 percent)
2. Something traditional (such as flowers or chocolate) (19 percent)
3. Something shiny (such as jewelry or a watch) (9 percent)
4. Something crafted by your S.O. (4 percent)
5. Something active (workout classes or a gym membership) (2 percent)

What Would Make for the Most Memorable Valentine's Day?

1. A low-key date at home (41 percent)
2. A special date night out (33 percent)
3. I can't think of a memorable Valentine's Day (15 percent)
4. A memory spent with family and/or friends (8 percent)
5. A night of self-love and care (3 percent)

When Are You Planning to Celebrate V-Day This Year?

● On the day, Wednesday, February 14th (48 percent)
● The weekend before or after (40 percent)
● We're not planning to celebrate (12 percent)

How Do You Feel About Valentine's Day as Newlyweds?

● Indifferent (60 percent)
● Love it (38 percent)
● Hate it (2 percent)

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