Having a bridal party is no easy feat. While your squad of best friends knows that they should be there for you—checking in regularly and helping take on any and all tasks that you need them to cover for you—being fully on board and helpful throughout the wedding process might be a harder pill for them to swallow than they initially thought. But what happens when your maid of honor, the person you should trust the most to be by your side throughout it all, goes MIA during your pre-wedding adventure, flaking out on phone calls and appointments, or just bringing too much drama into the mix?
When you’re planning a wedding, one of the things you may never think about is firing your maid of honor. These five brides share honest reasons why they chose to do it.
The Jealously Was Intense
“I had to tell my maid of honor to step down and just be a guest instead. Every single sentence out of her mouth spewed jealously. She was single and I was engaged, so she was so upset over that, to begin with. When I’d call her with excitement, she’d make me feel bad about it or question my decisions. It was so intense. I asked her to just be a guest and at first, she was mean about it, but then she came to her senses, admitted to being jealous, and is now okay with just coming to the wedding and having a good time.”—Ashley G., 29
The Phone Never Rang
“One of the things I told all of my bridesmaids was that I wanted them to do more than just throw me a bachelorette party and a bridal shower. I wanted them to be very hands-on during my wedding process. All of my bridesmaids have been doing a great job calling me to catch up and ask if I need anything—all of them but one, that is: my maid of honor. I didn’t hear from her for two months! She didn’t once ask me if I needed help or just a vent session. When I tried to text or call her, she didn’t respond, and would text back and say she was busy with work, or something else, and would call me that week. She never did. Last week, I had to let her know that I didn’t want her to be my maid of honor anymore. I tried to call her, she didn’t answer, so I sent a text. She took three days to respond and said that she feels I was demanding as a bride. As of now, she says she doesn’t want to even come to my wedding."—Sophia D., 27
It Was Too Much Drama
“My maid of honor has been my friend for over 10 years, but she’s always been known as the dramatic one in our friend group. I hesitated a little bit asking her to be my maid of honor, but she’s always been there for me, and I figured she could just pull her stuff together and do it. Well, she proved me wrong. She caused so much drama with the other bridesmaids. Two of my bridesmaids told me they were dropping out of the bridal party because dealing with my maid of honor was a nightmare. I made the final decision to kick her out of the wedding party, and she was so mean to me over text that I blocked her from my phone and my social media. I don’t think we’ll talk again anytime soon. It’s partially my fault, but everyone seems to get crazier when it’s under the spotlight of a wedding.”—Rachael O., 29
I Needed More Than a Good Friend
“I fired my maid of honor because I didn’t just need a good friend, I needed a planner. I don’t have a wedding planner and I don’t have too much free time on my hands. I wanted a maid of honor who could hold me accountable and help me plan this wedding. My maid of honor was good at calling me and checking in with wedding stuff, but she’s not much of a planner. I hope I didn’t hurt her feelings when I asked her to just be a bridesmaid so I could promote another bridesmaid to take on the maid of honor spot, who works in event planning."—Lisa P., 31
She Practically Asked Me To
“I don’t like saying that I fired my maid of honor because technically she quit. We were butting heads and I could tell she didn’t have the time or energy to be my maid of honor. So one night, over and dinner and wine, we came to the mutual agreement that she’d just be a bridesmaid, and help with what she had time for. We are on good terms and I didn’t replace her with another maid of honor. I’m fine just having a troop of bridesmaids, with no one person having to take control.”—Isabella P., 25