There is certainly something to be said for a giant, husky, reliable wand vibe. It is regularly touted (even by us!) as the cornerstone of every great sex toy collection. The issue? Sound. Straight up noise. Vibrators tend to make quite a bit of noticeable movement and rumbling (or buzzing). If something is vibrating it will sound like it’s … vibrating.
When all is said and done, sometimes you need a vibrator that won’t make a ton of noise when you’re using it. I mean, if you’re at home visiting your parents, are staying with friends, or have company over a weekend, the last thing you need is someone asking, “What is all that weird buzzing? Are you living near train tracks?”
No thank you to that awkwardness! Or maybe you just want a toy that feels as intimate as the connection you have with your vulva. That might not include a lot of noise. We get it.
Luckily, there are high-quality, excellent options for super quiet, easy-to-use vibes that you can add to your nightstand. Here are 7 quiet vibes you absolutely need in your life.
Squish by Unbound
Unbound Squish is the cutest little lemon-shaped vibe on this the planet earth. The more you squeeze it, the harder the vibrations. You just squeeze it like you’re looking for fresh juice and it turns into a mini-rocket. This feature makes it super simple to use. No buttons to worry about is always a plus, right? It is USB rechargeable and totally waterproof. But, it’s best feature of all is the lack of noise. It is dead silent. The only sounds you’ll have to worry about are the ones you make when you come. (These jokes write themselves).
SHOP NOW: Unbound, $99
If you’re looking for something that could-be-a-vibrator-but-probably-isn’t, this is the choice for you. Only, you know, it is a vibrator. This vibe looks like a sea shell and we cannot get enough of it. It’s as quiet as you were clicking your mouse in the dead of night circa high school. It is super squishy, making it easily deserving of the word “precious.” In addition to its cuteness, this little guy offers a serious punch. It has all the power you need, is water-proof, USB rechargeable, and has the unassuming quietness you deserve in your life.
SHOP NOW: Amazon, $110
The Lioness is the smart vibe the whole world is talking about. This vibe has a classic Rabbit shape with a sleek, modern feel. It uses high-level tech to learn what your body enjoys and tracks your patterns like some kind of robot genius. You can even monitor your orgasms and the intensity you’re feeling. Seriously, ladies, vibrator technology has become truly lit. Made from medical-grade silicone, the vibe is exceptionally light, making it easy for hand-maneuvering, as well as offering zero chance of carpal tunnel. It’s so quiet it’s, said to “purr like a kitten.” It’s as quiet as it is cool. Worth every dime.
SHOP NOW: Lioness, $225
Satisfyer Pro Traveler
The Satisfyer uses air and suction to attach to your clitoris and simulate oral sex. It’s a dream come true for any gal on the go. The traveler comes with a magnetic closure so you never have to worry about it coming loose in your bag, making contact with whatever else you’ve brought along on your trip. And, you know, there’s no chance of the TSA freaking out. It is discrete and extremely quiet. You’ll be golden in your hotel room. No chance of disturbing the neighbors. It has eleven different pressure waves, so however you like your oral sex, this thing delivers. Plus, it’s just an economical buy.
SHOP NOW: Amazon, $40
Lelo Nea 2
The Nea 2 is a sleek, small, palm-sized toy that is ideal for any sex toy collection. Lelo is known for it’s high-quality materials and reliable products. The Nea 2’s oval and curved shape will not disappoint. It is the ideal companion for solo play or couples play. If you’re apprehensive about trying a vibe with a partner, this is a fabulous starter. Oh, and of course Nea 2 is so quiet it will blow your mind. Literally and figuratively.
SHOP NOW: Amazon, was $99, now $78
Mystery Vibe Crescendo
The Crescendo is nothing short of mesmerizing. It actually learns the vibration patterns of your personal preferences and then adopts to those preferences. Talk about some serious sexual AI. It comes along with an app so you can customize your orgasmic experience with the help of a smartphone. If you’re not into apps, who cares? Use the hardware! Hardware? Yes. It bends into approximately 1,896,082 shapes. BENDS! OK, maybe not that many, but it’s a lot. You can literally make any vibrator you want out of this one toy. Wand? You got it. A G-Spot toy? Done. A clitoral circle? Easy. Oh, and did we mention it’s quiet?
SHOP NOW: Amazon, $139
The Womanizer is a part of the oral sex simulation revolution that we women so desperately need. We are HERE for it. Through a combination of suction, air pressure, and slight vibration, the Womanizer simulates oral like you wouldn’t believe. Some women have even reported having orgasms in under 60 seconds. We love it because the toy is as silent as a mouse and the perfect one-and-done orgasm after a long and exhausting day. Trust us, once you go Womanizer, you won’t go back.
SHOP NOW: Amazon, $109