7 Questions to Ask Before Saying “I Do” to Being a Bridesmaid


One of the best questions you will ever be asked in your life is “will you be my bridesmaid?” It may even be something you have been waiting for a good friend or family member to ask you for some time, and when it happens you’re just over-the-moon excited and thrilled. But before you accept your new role as a bridesmaid, it’s important to take a step back and ask the right questions. Here are the seven questions to ask the bride before you say I do.

1. How Much Time Will You Need?

Since being a bridesmaid can be time-consuming, ask how involved she wants you to be as a member of her bridal squad. Knowing this upfront will help you set expectations and walk into the bridesmaid role feeling like the greatest friend you can possibly be.

2. How Expensive Will This Be?

Talking money isn’t the easiest thing to talk about, but it’s important. Ask the bride if she knows how much being a bridesmaid will cost for her wedding, based on the dress price and bachelorette party idea that she has. If the number is outrageous or something you can’t afford, let her know that will be a problem. If she doesn’t seem to want to make it work for you, then opt for just being her wedding guest instead.

3. Is It Ok If I Can’t Attend Everything?

You might be nervous about making the commitment of being a bridesmaid since you aren’t positive you can attend all the pre-wedding events, like the engagement party, bridal shower and bachelorette party. Ask the bride if she will be okay if you don’t attend every single thing. If that’s a non-negotiable for her and something you don’t think you can do, then maybe it’s best to decline to be a bridesmaid.

4. Can I Get a Plus One?

If bringing someone to the wedding with you, whether it be your partner or just a plus one to hang out with because you don’t know too many other people, is important to you, then ask about it at the start. This doesn’t have to be an ultimatum but it can be something you ask and let the bride know about so that she can take it into account when planning her guest list.

5. What’s the Date of the Wedding?

Ask for all important dates that the bride needs you to note. That way, you can double-check that you’re available. The last thing you want to happen is that you agree to be a bridesmaid only to realize that you’ve already said yes to being a bridesmaid in another wedding that weekend!

6. Is It Okay That I’m Busy?

If you know that you have a ton of things happening in your life over the next year, whether it be personal, career-related, or even just other weddings you already committed to being a bridesmaid in, let the bride know. It’s okay to be upfront about how busy your schedule is and how you will try to make time, but you might not be able to clear off some of your previous engagements. Letting the bride know helps set expectations and alerts her that you’re busy and it’s not just an excuse.

7. Can I Get Back to You?

Though you might be eager to say a gigantic yes to the bride after she asks you to be a bridesmaid, it’s perfectly okay to take some time to think it through. Look over your other obligations, the upcoming stress you might have to handle at work, and even your financial situation. Sleep on it and see what you’re more inclined to say once the excitement has worn off and you can give a true answer.

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