One of My Bridesmaids Is Pregnant. Hooray! Now What?

Updated 12/03/15

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Giving a pregnant bridesmaid the boot would instantly catapult you to bridezilla status, but our experts say that it's completely acceptable to have a conversation with your friend about whether or not she's feeling up to the task. Here's how to move forward with your expecting friend.

Let's be clear, there's a big difference between cute-bump-and-glowing pregnant and about-to-pop-waddling-down-the-aisle pregnant. If your bridesmaid is going to be the latter on your wedding day, she likely isn't going to feel up to a full day of pre-wedding prep followed by 10 hours of standing on her feet. She may not know how to broach the idea of being benched this round without making you feel like she doesn't want to be a bridesmaid.

As the bride, you should take the initiative and open the door to a conversation. Talk about how far along she'll be in the pregnancy and give her an opportunity to politely back out. Explain to her that she'll still be a huge part of your inner circle and be recognized as an honorary bridesmaid, but if she wants to forgo standing in front of 300 people in a chiffon bridesmaid dress, you won't love her any less for wearing black and an elastic waistband.

That being said, be prepared for a potentially awkward conversation, particularly if she's unaware of how uncomfortable the end of pregnancy can be. She might not be willing to admit she won't be up for the task, and there's nothing worse than being the bride who turns out a bridesmaid for lack of perfection, which is exactly how you'll be perceived if you try to persuade her to sit this one out.

It goes without saying that a pregnant woman's emotions are fragile, so go easy. And in the end, you'll have to allow her to take the lead on whether she'll be joining you at the altar or in the crowd. The important part is having your friend by your side on your wedding day, and taking her feelings into account will ensure your friendship doesn't take a hit.

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