We all know the couple who knows too much about one another. He can mark her menstrual cycle on the calendar, while she could clock his last trip to the bathroom to the minute. And while it's true that openness and intimacy keep couples together, we shouldn't "mistake a loss of mystique for a stronger relationship," warns April Masini, relationship expert. "Too much information, especially of the personal physical nature, isn't sexy or romantic. What is sexy and romantic is the challenge of keeping the mystique going. Yes, it isn't easy — but if you don't share too much information, all the time, you've got a much better shot at long-run love."
Here are four things you shouldn't do or discuss with your partner even after you tie the knot.
1. Always going to the bathroom with the door open.
We've all dashed into our bathrooms in emergency situations, too harried and hurried to make sure the door shuts firmly behind us. But "a chronic absence of closing the bathroom door is going to create a TMI-lifestyle that isn't conducive to romance," warns Masini. "Use the door."
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2. Ragging on your spouse's mother, sibling, or another family member.
You may have kept mum about your future mother-in-law's infuriating qualities before you tied the knot, but now that you're a part of the family it's more difficult to stop from spilling your guts. But "you could begin a family feud that you'll sorely regret if you share too much information about your feelings for his [or her] mother or sister or father," Masini says. "If you don't like one of his relatives, don't give him a blow-by-blow of why. Find your sense of humor and share with your friends, not your spouse."
3. Giving a play-by-play of your unpleasant bodily functions.
While your spouse needs to know your medical history, allergies, and the kind of chicken noodle soup that cures your colds, he or she does not need to know what you left behind in the toilet. "Anything that comes out of your body is probably best shared with your physician, not your spouse," Masini says. "You're going to dampen the spark that drives your sex drive if you share TMI about your bodily functions, and at worst, worry him [or her] about your health."
4. Divulging intimate details about your past relationships.
It's important to have an open and honest talk about your exes, but just because they're in the past doesn't mean you should share every detail with your new spouse. "Just because you think your marriage trumps the past doesn't mean your spouse feels the same way. TMI may hurt him," Masini warns. "Share on a need-to-know basis. Don't withhold important information, but don't harp on great loves lost."