In a perfect world, at the very top of your wedding guest list would be the names of your parents, followed by your nearest and dearest family members and friends. But sometimes that’s not the case. Not everybody has a solid relationship with their parents and usually that’s something they’ve either accepted or have attempted to work on for many years. But when there’s a wedding to plan, one the first things to be brought back up to the surface is iffy relationships with the people in your life, especially when it comes to deciding whether or not you want them to be present on your wedding day.
Whether or not you should invite your parents may not be an easy choice to make. It’s something you'll want to examine, pick apart, and then decide so that you don’t have any regrets at all on your wedding day, or for years to come.
So if you’re wondering whether or not you should invite your parents to your wedding, here are a handful of things to do to make the right choice.
Make a Pro-Con List
Think about each and every reason why you don’t want to invite your parents to your wedding. Perhaps it’s because they haven’t been in your life for many years or maybe it’s because of a recent fight you’ve had with them that hasn’t been resolved. After you’ve filled up one half of your paper with those reasons, start thinking about how you’ll feel if they aren’t there on your big day. Write down if you think you’ll have any regrets or if you think that the issues you have with them are something you can attempt to work out before deciding whether or not to leave them off the guest list.
Talk it Over with Your Fiancé
Keep communication open with your fiancé. It will be important that your partner supports your decision and also helps you think clearly about it. Ask your fiancé for their opinion on the situation and whether or not they think you should think a second more about this or if you should make the first move and have a conversation with your parents to see if things can be mended before your wedding.
Decide if You Want to Mend the Relationship
If you don’t want to fix your relationship with your parents before the wedding, you don’t have to. But if a sliver of you does want to, it’s worth a try. Decide how you want to contact your parents and have this conversation. Perhaps you have a third party mediator or therapist there to help guide your chat or you do it in a neutral location such as a coffee shop rather than over the phone or in one person’s house.
Have a Game Plan for After You Make the Decision
Once you’ve reviewed all your options and realized that inviting your parents to your wedding is just not something you want to happen, the next step is to have a response ready in case they reach out to express their emotion over your decision. If you want to ward off any drama before your wedding, you might decide not to respond until after the big day. If you’re willing to have a chat with them about your decision, that’s where your pro-con list can come in handy.