First comes love, then comes marriage, then for many comes a…(you know the rest). We can only imagine the love, changes, and challenges that a new bundle of joy can bring to any marriage, so we've decided to ask the experts—a.k.a. new moms. Here, each new mom shares what's changed most in her marriage since they became a party of three.
"I have to work harder to be 'present' with my husband than I did before we had a baby. We both work full-time, and our time together as a family is limited to a few hours a day during the week, and the time as just husband and wife is even less. Between balancing work, our daughter's schedule, and the normal duties of day-to-day life and maintaining a house, it's easy to get distracted and try to do a million things at once. Before baby, our time was endless and we did what we wanted. Now I make a more conscious effort to be present when it's just the two of us, focus on our conversations, and try to coordinate things just for us; it's hard but important to me that he knows that he still has my full attention." —Tanya, 31
"Since becoming parents, the word 'teamwork' has a new meaning. We sleep less, and 'us' time becomes a little harder, which was an adjustment, but it's necessary. So, if we have to plan it, we will, yet all the changes in our relationship are worth it to hear her laugh, say our names, do things for the first time, and experience life through her eyes. I think having our daughter was, and is, the best moment in our relationship. Our wedding was magical and perfect, but seeing the two of us in one tiny person is magnificent." —Nicole, 31
"What's changed? Everything and nothing. All joking aside, spontaneity. Like, we can't just pick up and go out with friends or do something at the drop of a hat. Everything requires planning and packing the diaper bag ahead of time. But at the same time, our teamwork is even better than it was before." —Nancy, 37
"Sleeping! Gone are the days where we would be able to go to bed together on weekends and sleep in with no alarms. With a newborn, sleep is nearly impossible. We've started sleeping in shifts to make sure we both get some rest, but it's always at unusual times or in short bursts." —Alexandra, 32
"We have become so much more routine. Everything now has a time and a place, and it's structured. We used to do whatever we wanted, when we wanted, with limited restrictions. Now, we almost always wake up, eat, sleep, shower, etc. on a time schedule to ensure we both have time for all the essentials, each other, and, of course, the baby." —Kristina, 30