Choosing who to invite to be a bridesmaid at your wedding can be tough. From sisters and childhood pals to college besties and the cubicle-mate-turned-BFF, finding the right balance of personalities (and making sure you don’t hurt any feelings) is a challenge! But what if you’ve narrowed down exactly who you’d like to include, but one of your picks for being a bridesmaid says “no”? Our experts have a few tips for how to handle the situation.
Hearing that your friend doesn’t want to be a bridesmaid can be a tough pill to swallow, but don’t take it personally. After all, being a bridesmaid can be really expensive, from the dress and accessories to travel and gifts for pre-wedding events. And of course, there’s always the possibility that she won’t be able to make it to your wedding at all! Instead of getting offended, let your friend know that, while you wish she was able to be a part of your bridal party, you respect her decision.
Whether or not she’ll be able to attend your wedding, offer to include your friend in pre-wedding events anyway. There’s no rule saying that only bridesmaids can go to the bachelorette party, and the guest list for your bridal shower will definitely extend to other friends and family members. You could also talk to her about whether she’d like to participate in your wedding day in a different way. If she’s a great speaker, ask her to give a toast at your rehearsal dinner or do a reading during the ceremony. Does she have a great eye for detail? Pop open a bottle of wine and put together those favors while you watch your favorite chick flick in the background.
And of course, remember to be respectful of the fact that she’s declined to be a bridesmaid. She may not want the regular updates on your planning, and might skip out on the bachelorette party to save money to come to your wedding a few months later. Whatever the situation, don’t let it get in the way of your friendship!