Talking about money can often be one of the most awkward wedding conversations that the parents of the bride, and the parents of the groom have to discuss together — especially if this is the first time they are meeting. However, if this conversation doesn't happen — or ends up happening too late — a hint of confusion and even resentment, may start to blanket the overall wedding experience. Times are changing, and it's not always up to the bride's parents to pay for the entire wedding rendezvous anymore. So to make sure the money conversation is fluid and fast, here's three ways to bring up the topic of who is paying for what, when it comes to wedding planning.
1. Turn the Conversation into a Dinner
Skip the business meeting kind of conversation, and have the money talk in conjunction with a dinner. That way, everyone is a bit more relaxed, and the setting is neutral and conversational. You can start by chatting about the excitement surrounding the wedding, and then dive into the details of who would like to contribute to the different vendors and events, that will take place throughout the wedding adventure.
2. Come With a Game Plan
No matter where you have the conversation, it's important that you come prepared. Know already what you feel comfortable paying for, and have a loose idea of what you'd like for them to cover. That way, you can come to the table letting them know that you'd like to pay for x, y, and z, and then openly discuss what expenses are left.
3. Be Open and Honest
Try to be as flexible as possible with your game plan. If you see things are getting too complicated by delegating who should pay for what, take a step back and come up with an overall amount that you'd like to contribute. See if they can come to the table with an amount they feel comfortable with as well. From that point, you can then start delegating who can cover what different costs.
Jen Glantz is a "Professional Bridesmaid" and the founder of Bridesmaid for Hire. She's the author of All My Friends Are Engaged and frequently wears old bridesmaid dresses to the grocery store and on first dates.