Defining roles early on in wedding planning will help make the entire process more smooth. You’ll know who is responsible for what, when each person has the final say, and exactly when you do (and don’t!) want someone's input. While you might know exactly what you want your fiancé to take care of and where your mom’s strengths lie, what is the role of the mother of the groom in all this? Our experts weigh in.
Traditionally, the role of the groom’s mother is a little more limited than the mother of the bride’s. It most often includes things like collecting names and addresses for any family members and friends who will be invited to the wedding (and assisting with collecting RSVPs!), contributing financially to the bouquets and boutonnieres, and hosting the rehearsal dinner. She might also offer to host an engagement party on the couple’s behalf or participate in the planning of the bridal shower. She should confer with the mother of the bride to properly coordinate her attire for the wedding itself and of course plan to dance with her son at the reception! Any involvement in the planning of the wedding beyond these things is purely at the discretion of the couple. There’s no expectation that the mother of the groom should be more involved, and she shouldn’t take on any additional responsibilities unless the couple asks her to.
If you and your future mother-in-law are fast friends and you trust (and love!) her style, feel free to give her more responsibilities and involve her further in planning. You might have her help you plan the seating chart—especially those tables for her family and friends—and you'll definitely welcome an extra set of hands when it comes time to assemble the welcome bags or favors. If she’s got great taste, invite her to come to a meeting with your caterer or florist. While you may decide to keep dress shopping a strictly mother-daughter event, inviting your future mother-in-law to your fitting is a fun moment to share, and it means you’ll have one more person who knows how to work your bustle!