There are so many sexual concerns for women that the list is essentially endless. We did our best to narrow it down, but it was hard! This is greatly upsetting because we all deserve fulfilling, dynamic, hot AF sex lives. Certain factors hold us back from experiencing our full threshold for pleasure.
So much so, in fact, that we’re quite sure few women even know the depths to which they can experience pleasure. How could you when you’ve experienced slut-shaming or think your stomach isn’t flat enough to be sexually attractive to a partner?
If any of these sexual concerns ring true for you, put in the work to do something about it. Whether it be seeing a sex coach, a therapist, an OB/GYN, or attending tantric yoga, you deserve to have the best sex of your life, all the time.
Here are the 4 top sexual concerns for women, and some solutions to help you move past them.
Low or No Desire
Often women complain of low desire. Most of the time, they want to want more sex, but can’t seem to get in the mood. There are a variety of factors that can contribute to low libido.
Topping the charts are work-induced stress, anxiety, hormone-related issues, and not enough foreplay before penetrative sex.
This last one is especially interesting because if you’re not experiencing enough clitoral stimulation before and during your penetrative sexual experiences, you may come to associate sex with discomfort or a lack of pleasure. Who wants to have sex when this is their reality?
Interested in some all-natural libido-boosters? We’ve got the complete guide right here. If you suspect you’re experiencing a hormone imbalance or need help managing your stress, speak with your doctor about options.
Pain During Penetrative Sex
We have a strange cultural narrative that has normalized female pain during sex, especially during penetration. We’ve come to simply expect that sex will hurt for women sometimes. This is NOT normal. If you’re experiencing pain during sex, you should do something about it, because there IS something(s) you can do about it.
Painful sex often occurs when we’re not aroused enough to experience penetration. It takes female-bodied people an average of 20 minutes (or longer) to become properly prepared for sex. When you’re not aroused and wet, you can experience tearing, friction, and bleeding. Women are conditioned to think that we cannot ask for what we need to experience not only good sex, but pain-free sex. This must change. This is a bare minimum.
Another issue? The absence of lube. Always use lube during sex. Why? Click here.
Other conditions related to dyspareunia (vulvarvaginal pain) include such psychologically based conditions as vaginismus and vulvodynia.
Vaginismus occurs when the vaginal muscles contract so tightly that penetration becomes incredibly painful and often impossible. Vulvodynia is pain of the vulva and vaginal opening. The pain can be concentrated to one area, or be widespread. If you have pain during sex, and natural remedies aren’t cutting it, see your OB/GYN ASAP.
Difficulty Experiencing Orgasm
There are few things more frustrating than not being able to climax during sex, should this be your goal. If you’re not having orgasms, it’s likely you’re not receiving enough clitoral stimulation during sexual play. We’re talking oral, oral, oral! Two out of three women require clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. How do you know if you’re getting what you need? Masturbate. We’ve even made a handy manual (literally) for you.
Another big reason we aren’t able to orgasm are our sexual inhibitions. When we have shameful feelings about sex and pleasure, experiencing erotic feelings becomes increasingly difficult. There are many reasons for these feelings, including a sex-negative upbringing, religion, slut-shaming, etc. Talk to your therapist about how to move past these issues and how to let yourself really get into the moment.
Body Image Issues
Believe it or not, how you feel about your body is a huge factor in your ability to let go and enjoy sex. If you feel uncomfortable about the way you look naked, sex isn’t going to be as fun.
It makes sense. When you’re having sex, you’re fully exposed. There is nowhere to hide that thing you don’t like about your thighs. Plus, you’re in a bunch of different positions that may not accentuate your “best angles.” When you actually think about it, this is super messed up. We’re so screwed up about our bodies that we can’t even fully enjoy orgasms?! Um, no thank you.
Women are essentially warped from birth to not only notice our imperfections, but to think they are imperfections in the first place. It doesn’t matter if you’re a size two or a size thirty-two, your body is gorgeous just the way it is. You’re a sexy, hot, vibrant woman. Any person lucky enough to be naked with you is #blessed.
Come to believe this about yourself, and your sex life is sure to improve drastically. Confidence = sexy.