Chances are, if you’ve started talking to your S.O. about getting engaged, you’ve talked to your mom about it, too. While some are happy to browse jewelry store windows by your side and then wait for the big moment, others want to make sure their daughter’s engagement ring is everything she’s ever wanted. So what should you do if your mom insists on being part of the process, but your partner really wants to do this on their own? We have a few tips.
Before you start worrying about future in-law relationships, do your best to get a feel for the situation. If your S.O. wants to pick out your engagement ring with zero input (even from you!), break it to mom gently. Bae is committed to picking out the perfect ring on their own, and even your mom can’t change that. Remind her that there will be plenty of wedding details to be involved in, and it’s an even bigger moment for your partner than it is for your mom so she should let them enjoy it.
Does your S.O. want a little bit of guidance? See if mom would be happy enough shopping and browsing with you, then passing on the details to them. They can always call her if they really can’t decide or needs a second opinion, but this helps involve her while still letting your boo take the lead.
And if you think your significant other doesn’t realize how much assistance they'll need, offer her help and let your S.O. contact her directly. But lay out some ground rules! There may be a jeweler your partner wants to work with, in which case she should be available for style advice but shouldn’t pressure to talk to Her Guy. Or if your partner has a specific style or shape in mind, she can help narrow down the choices but shouldn’t push to get a ring for you that they don't love, too. And of course, she must be respectful of the budget! Yes, every mom wants her daughter to have a gorgeous engagement ring, but since mom isn’t paying for it, she shouldn’t encourage your partner to shop for rings that they can’t afford.