In our next installment of the Meditation How-Tos marriage advice series, the Kundalini guide behind Benshen, Desiree Pais, gives you the step-by-step methods you need to practice to stay focused and calm before, during, and after you tie the knot.
Sometimes with a to-do list that rolls down to the floor, the last thing a bride-to-be remembers to take care of is herself. Planning a wedding is certainly not an easy task—but it’s also definitely not an excuse for self-care to slip away, especially when you need it the most. Everyone in your life is helping you plan for this big day and is doing the best they can while managing their own lives as well. Believe me when I say this, because your stressy bride mind might tell you otherwise: Everyone is on your side, everyone loves you, and everyone wants this to be absolutely the best experience possible.
Your job is to remember this and to remember to take care of yourself. You don’t want to demand more than others can give. You don’t want your future partner feeling drained before you even say “I do” because stress has you feeling exponentially more emotionally needy than usual. And you definitely don’t want your BFF to feel unappreciated when your tiredness has you feeling like she’s not showing up for you, while the reality is she has been your proverbial holy grail, saving the day left and right. No, ladies, you don’t need any of that.
What you do need is this simple meditation that increases your sense of self-care and self-love so you have enough energy to get done what needs to get done—all while remaining calm during the process of wedding planning. The last thing you want to be remembered as on your big day is the bride who lost her marbles. This simple Kundalini-yoga practice will not only make you feel nourished from the inside out, it will also boost your immune system, increase inner energy, and cleanse the body. Give it a try for five minutes and see how much better you feel. If you love it, do it every morning (or any time you need it).
How to Do a Self-Care Breath
- Find a comfortable seat.
- Open your mouth and make a circle, so the lips are tight and your mouth is O shaped
- Cross your hands over the heart center, right hand over left hand.
- Close your eyes and feel your heart under your palms.
- Begin powerfully yet steadily, breathing in and out of the mouth like a cannon fire—strong inhales and strong exhales. Let your mind focus on the mouth ring, and shape the breath into a ring. Continue for five minutes.
- To end, inhale and hold the breath. Relax the mouth. Mentally repeat: “I am beautiful, I am innocent, I am innocent, I am beautiful.” Exhale through the nose. Do this a total of five times. Then relax.
Desiree Pais is a meditation and Kundalini-yoga guide and a natural-beauty alchemist. She is currently pursuing a master's degree at Pacific College of Oriental Medicine, and she studied Daoist healing with Grandmaster Sung Baek. She teaches Kundalini yoga and meditation classes and workshops around New York City. She aims to make these ancient methods available to anyone who is interested in using this profound practice to create the life they want to experience.