It’s probably not totally shocking that couples would have a routine when it comes to sex. If you’ve been together for a lengthy amount of time, you (hopefully)know what the other person wants and how to give them exactly that. A sex "routine" can sound a bit boring, but more often than not, it’s a helpful tool to keep your sex life alive in the long-term.
Of course, you should strive to try new things and shake it up, but if you know what does the trick, it can be an incentive to hop in bed. Not every sexual encounter needs to be about new lingerie and out-of-the-box sex toys. Ahead, seven women share their married sex routines (and why they work).
I get grouchy as f*ck after about two days without sex so we typically have penetrative sex at least that often. Outside of that, I [mess] with him 24/7. I [give him oral sex] anytime he’s playing video games. Rub him down when he’s cooking. Hop in the shower with him to give him head, etc. He does the same for me occasionally, but his sex drive isn’t nearly as high as mine, so I also maintain myself with a vibrator. —Addison, 20
We kind of have everything down to a science. He goes down on me until I get off, and then we usually have sex in either missionary or doggy style. It is actually super hot, even if it is routine for us. When we’re in missionary, he usually chokes me and rubs my clit which makes everything feel pretty kinky and amazing. We occasionally try new stuff, but I’m a huge fan of the stuff we know works. —Ferrah, 32
My husband and I have been together for 10 years and we have three children, two of whom are under five. Obviously, that means that sex can often be a challenge. Neither of us is super invested in toys, but crazy positions, sneaky locations, and dirty talk are our main go-to's. —Anonymous
Our dirty talk usually involves something related to our fantasies, similar to roleplaying. Ultimately, letting down my guard and sharing my "deepest, darkest" fantasies has been the best thing for our sex life, because it gave him more direction and the willingness to open up to me as well. We typically have sex an average of 3-4 times a week, if not more. —Brianna, 28
Our routine is to devote ourselves completely to one another on Sundays. We make a point to come to bed with something new to try. This past [Sunday] we tried this position called "The Amazon," where he is on his back and spreads his legs, and I kind of mount between them. It worked for a few minutes, but we wound up getting uncomfortable. Then he went down on me. That’s probably the most routine thing, actually. He goes down on me after we do whatever else we want. —Lydia, 38
The most routine thing about my sex life is that we always use my favorite sex toy. It’s this little vibrator I got at a bachelorette party years ago. It’s crazy powerful, and when I use it during sex, I get off every time. It’s gotten to the point where my husband knows to just reach for the toy immediately. No need to suggest it! —Dottie, 35
We have scheduled sex at least four times per week in the evenings, and we set an alarm to have sex in the early mornings before work and the gym. The experience is pretty much always epic! We are both sex educators, and we know how to keep it fresh and different. My partner teaches men how to be extraordinary lovers in a course called "Just Add Skill." He is amazing! —Laurie, 71
We make out and then he goes down on me. Then we have sex; usually, but not always, in missionary. That’s basically it in a nutshell. —Jamie, 26