Whether your BFF has always been a boy or you recently welcomed a new, totally platonic man into your life, there's a chance your fiancé's little green monster may come out when he sees just what you two have together. "You want things to be good in your relationship, and if your fiancé is jealous of your good friend, things aren't good," points out April Masini, relationship expert and advice columnist. "There's going to be a rift."
Without consciously doing so, your fiancé could get competitive with your friend, or "become resentful or annoyed at how much time you spend with them," says Jane Greer, Ph.D., relationship expert and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship. "They can look to make you feel guilty for being with your friend. They may also start to point out your friend's flaws and make other negative comments about him." And the "closer you become with this opposite-sex friend, the less time you might spend with your fiancé," she says.
See More: Is Your Fiancé's BFF a Friend or Foe?
And with interactions like those, "his jealousy can leave you feeling controlled and resentful of him, which can make you want to spend less time with your fiancé," Greer warns. "If he's making a lot of negative comments, you can feel like you have to defend your friend all the time." We know you don't want that.
So if your fiancé can't seem to stand even the idea of your opposite-sex friend, it's time to consider his feelings. "Is he feeling insecure? Do you need to focus on making him feel more attractive and desirable to you so that the time with your friend isn't a threat to him?" asks Greer. Depending on how you honestly answer those questions, "you may need to change your friendship, depending on how much time you're spending with your friend versus how much you see your fiancé."
It's also A-OK to turn to your fiancé for answers, too, Greer says. "To address this with your fiancé, have a good discussion about it," she says. "Find out what his concerns are and reassure him there's nothing for him to worry about. Tell him you want him to know he's your top priority. And ask if it would help if you spent more time with your fiancé."