You're probably assuming that you will definitely consummate your marriage in a rose-petal-covered king-sized bed. We hope you do, and that fireworks shoot out of your honeymoon suite windows. We also want you to consider — now, before your wedding night — the reality of what you may actually feel like when he carries you across that threshold.
You'll be amped up. You've just thrown the biggest, best, weekend-long party of your life, with everyone you love celebrating and partying with you. You've been the center of attention, saying hellos and thank you's. The DJs music is still thumping in your brain, champagne bubbles coursing through your system. You're both buzzing. You'll be happy — happy he's your husband, happy you pulled it off, happy you're out of the limelight, happy it's just the two of you, finally.
You'll be tired. It's intense, being the center of attention for seven hours straight. And your feet will be killing you because you didn't properly wear-in your wedding shoes. You'll be dirty. Or at least a little sweaty, from all that dancing. If you're having an outdoor wedding and you're the kind of girl who kicks off her shoes to dance in the grass, your feet will be filthy. You'll want to grab a shower before hopping into your rose-covered bed.
We're not trying to be Debbie Downer here, but we believe this real-life info can actually help you and your fiancé define for yourselves a shared vision of what will happen in your rose-petal-strewn bed that night. What's important is that you've discussed your plans, images, and fantasies about wedding-night sex beforehand, and that you're on the same page, whether you do it or not. So have a thoughtful conversation soon about what you both assume, expect, and want to happen sexually on your wedding night...so that share the same vision of what really will happen in your rose-petal-strewn bed.
Allison Moir-Smith, MA, is the author of Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the '"Happiest" Time of Her Life and has been helping brides feel happier, calmer and better prepared for marriage since 2002. She is a bridal counselor, an expert in engagement anxiety and cold feet, and the founder of Emotionally Engaged Counseling for Brides.