Why is it that we never give foreplay the credit it deserves? We tend to think of it is as the overrated step we’re forced to take in order to have sex. However, foreplay can be insanely hot if you do it correctly. And more importantly, it is a crucial step in the sexual process, not to be stashed in the bedside table drawer!
It may sound trite, but foreplay is actually the key to having incredible sex. So stop hating on the foreplay and learn to love it—you’ll be a better lover for it in the long run (which means more sex, too, wink wink).
Try these seven foolproof tips and take your sex life to new heights!
Don’t let your head get ahead of your body
Pun intended. If you want to have mind-blowing sex, double (or triple) your devoted foreplay time. Give foreplay the dedicated 15 minutes it deserves, and don’t stop until you’ve had an orgasm. Make that a rule.
A mistake many of us make is getting so excited about having sex that we forget the (be)foreplay. If you’re in the mood, your carnal reaction is to throw down and shove your partner’s penis/dildo/hand into your vag without a proper warm up.
The first step to truly amazing sex is keeping this in mind and being conscious of it. Getting down and dirty ASAP may sound amazing, but without proper lubrication, you could wind up with dryness, minor tearing, and a decreased chance of orgasm. Ugh forever. Pump the breaks and slow everything down.
Ask your partner what feels good
Foreplay is anyone’s game; what feels good at one point, may not at another. It’s a prime opportunity to communicate. Ask your partner what feels good and tell your partner what feels good for you.
Opening up about what turns you on will not only guide your partner to the right areas, but the speaking about it can be a huge charge to the libido...Ask and thou shalt receive, after all.
Always use lube
Lube is an absolute must. It is non-negotiable. The vagina self-lubricates, but the vast majority of the time, it's not enough. Lube is not only a helping hand during intercourse, but also during foreplay. No one needs painful rugburn due to dry fingers, ya know?
Some people may not like the taste of lube, and that’s OK. You can apply it after oral play or choose a natural, tasty option like 100% coconut oil.
Just use lube, OK? Promise?
Make some noise
Part of foreplay is working yourself and your partner up for sex. Sexual activity of any kind is not a time to lie back and think about all the groceries you need to buy, it’s a time to get involved and be engaged.
If something feels good, let your partner know. Moan, talk dirty, scream if you want to. It’s not about being over-dramatic or faking something. If what your partner is doing isn’t working, move his or her hand/mouth/face where you want it to be.
When it’s awesome, make it clear. If your partner feels encouraged, you up your chances of having the action repeated, which means more orgasms for you.
Experiment with a little pain
Don’t be afraid to get aggressive. Try nibbling, biting, scratching, and grabbing different areas of your partner’s body. Perhaps even a little choking might do the trick.
Pain (on the minor side) heightens the awareness in your body and can light up distinct pleasure zones. Studies have shown that the part of our brain that feels pleasure is very close to the part that processes pain. That’s one of the reasons people dig BDSM so much.
Again, communication is key here. Be sure this is something your partner is open to trying and make it clear if it’s something that turns you on.
Now, this one won’t work for everyone. If you’re super sensitive to pain, this might not be the thing you love during foreplay. The best part about sex is its vast landscape for experimentation.
Tease more than just genitals
There are a trillion places you can touch to up the ante on sexual stimulation. Utilize every opportunity to push your partner’s buttons in every way you can. It helps to stimulate the clitoris in an indirect way that leads to strong, intense orgasms.
See more: How to Have Hot (Not Weird) Phone Sex
Sex toys are a must
Sex toys are a slightly kinky, sexy way to make foreplay more pleasurable. Don’t be afraid to bring one (or a few) into the bedroom. If you want to have amazing, earth shattering sex, the best way is to have an orgasm before you have intercourse. In a word, it gets things steamy.
Sex toys don’t replace your partner, they heighten the whole sexual experience.