I Can't Make It to My Best Friend’s Wedding. How Can I Make It Up to Her?

Here's how to handle one of the trickiest BFF situations

Updated 08/27/17

Photo by Olivia Rae James

You’ve been by your friend’s side through every step of her relationship. You helped pick out the ring, took photos from the shadows during the proposal, and might know as much about the wedding of her dreams as she does. But what happens when it’s time to pick a date, and the one your bestie and her fiancé landed on is one where you’re already booked? We asked our experts how you can make it up to her.

It’s always a bummer to miss a wedding, especially when it’s that of your closest friend. But some previous engagements, from work commitments to family celebrations, just can’t be rescheduled, meaning your BFF will be walking down the aisle without you. But that doesn’t mean you can’t still be part of the celebration! Here are a few ways to make sure she knows how excited you are for her:

Be a Part of the Bachelorette Party and Bridal Shower

We all know you shouldn’t invite someone to these events if they aren’t invited to the wedding, but there’s nothing saying you can’t invite someone if they were invited to the wedding but can’t attend. If you’re available for these pre-wedding parties, by all means, join in on the fun! You can even help with planning or serve as cohost if your schedule and budget permit. Being there for the pre-wedding celebrations is a sweet show of support, even if you won’t be there to see their first dance.

Make Her Wedding Day Special

A bride has a lot on her mind on her wedding day, so we’re not encouraging phone calls or lots of texts (unless your BFF wants you to call her!). However, you can still do a little something to make her big day extra special. Arrange for a bottle of champagne (the good stuff!) to be brought to the bridal suite, or send a beautiful bouquet of flowers, or a particular memento (especially something silly/sweet) that holds a special meaning to both of you. Ask one of the bridesmaids to deliver a note or gift on your behalf.

Celebrate After the Fact

Once the knot has been tied, throw a post-wedding celebration to mark the occasion. You could keep it simple, taking your friend and her new spouse out to dinner to celebrate, or you could arrange a cocktail party or get-together with a bigger group of friends. And, if the newlyweds are hosting a buddymoon, try your best to make your schedule available for the post-wedding getaway. You may not have been there for the milestone moment, but you can still help honor it and show your support!

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