Have you ever been so close to having an orgasm you can almost taste it? Have you ever been really there, on the cusp, only to have all the pleasure stop immediately?
No? Well, then you haven’t tried edging. Let us explain.
From the description above you might think we’re talking about some kind of medieval torture, but it’s actually a very helpful sexual technique. Edging is used to bring the body into the near-eclipse of sexual release, only to bring you back down again…and then back up!
If you’re curious about how to have stronger, longer orgasms (raises hand), edging could be the practice you’ve been missing out on. Here is how to pull of edging for seriously powerful orgasms.
What is edging?
Edging is a practice that dates back in literature to the 1980s. It’s been called “orgasm control” as well as slow, “drawn-out masturbation.” All of these names have merit. Edging means stimulating yourself in a way that brings you sexual pleasure. This can be through the clitoris, G-spot, nipples, another erogenous zone or through different combinations of stimuli.
Before reaching “the point of no return,” wherein you lose control and go over the cliff into orgasm, you stop and take a break. After a few breaths, minutes or even hours, you start building up the sensation again. And once again, you stop before climax.
This technique is an excellent way for a woman to connect more deeply with her body. It gives you the opportunity to focus in on what feels good to you and how you like to be touched. If you’ve been experiencing low desire, edging is an excellent holistic method for regaining sexual energy.
How does it work?
Orgasm occurs in four stages: excitement, plateau, climax (orgasm), and resolution.
It’s thought that edging can make the final release into the (eventual) orgasm much more powerful. When your nerve endings are already alert from previous stimulation, with no release, your body aches for that orgasm. You are in a perpetual, heightened state of arousal. For male-bodied people, we call that build of erotic energy “blue balls” and for female-bodied people, “pink pelvis.”
Yes, women can experience sexual frustration too.
Only with edging, you’re not left without the orgasm forever. Once you come down from the plateau phase a few times, it makes the build up much more intense in some women.
You can bring yourself to the edge as many times as you’d like. For beginners, we recommend two to three edges before allowing yourself to climax. You can always experiment with different techniques and pleasure stimuli. This is your body after all!
How to edge alone
You can perfect the art of edging either alone or with a partner. Alone is an easier place to begin, as you are stimulating your own body and therefore know where you are on the pleasure scale.
Use your fingers or a toy. Start with clitoral stimulation. You can use whichever technique you prefer. Try circling the clitoris for a few seconds or minutes before giving it direct stimulation. When you feel like you’re close to orgasm, stop.
Wait two or three minutes. Breathe deeply into your body. Then start the process again. Once you do let yourself climax, take note of the depth of orgasm. Was it better than your usual orgasms? Longer? More powerful? The same?
How to edge with your partner
We recommend that if you begin your exploration with your partner, that you make sure he or she is well-versed in edging. The roadblock many of us run into is not knowing when to stop: Your partner stimulates your clitoris for a little too long, or gets a little too into it and forgets to stop in time.
Not that having an orgasm like this isn’t fun though, right? wink wink
If you’re going to try it with a partner, be sure to be very communicative about how you’re feeling. Only you know when you’re going to have an orgasm. Your partner is not a mind-reader. We know, self-control—what an unsexy idea! But trust us, it is worth it.
Do keep in mind that edging doesn’t work for every person. Some women find it exhausting, never reaching that final orgasm. It happens. Edging might even work for you one day and not the next. Bodies are weird. This is just another fun technique for you to explore.
If you love it, great! If it’s not your thing, that’s fine too.