How to Treat the Single Bridesmaid(s) in Your Wedding Party

Single does not equal spinster, so don't treat them like one

Updated 07/25/18

Photo by Heart Visuals

Your wedding celebration is one of the top moments in your life when you can truly spend quality time with your best friends. Having a bridal party means that you have excuses to see your BFFs, whether it’s to go dress shopping, take a “one last fling before the ring” vacation, or even just to meet them for coffee and vent about all things wedding planning.

If one or more of your bridesmaids are single, you might have the urge to try and help her out during the wedding adventure, whether by playing matchmaker or setting up a single's table at the reception. But before you start making plans, take a minute to think about how she might feel.

Here are five ways to treat your single bridesmaid so that they don’t feel singled out in your bridal party.

1. Ask What’s She Looking For

Before trying to set your single bridesmaid up with someone at your wedding, first casually ask her if she even wants your help. Perhaps your single bridesmaid is focusing on herself or taking a break from dating and not interested in being set up or even having you and your fiancé work some magic to introduce her to someone at the wedding. If she says she wants to the focus to be off of her relationship status, respect that, even if it’s tempting not to.

2. Give Her a Good Seat

When you’re planning your wedding seating arrangements, take note of where you can have your single bridesmaid sit. You might want to put her at a single’s table with people she doesn’t know to try and create a spark with another single. But instead of isolating her, place her at a table with people she knows and will have a fun night with, even if they have plus ones.

3. Don’t Make This About Her Love Life

Remember that it’s your wedding and the only love you should be focusing on is the love between you and your partner. You might want to make your wedding feel like an in-person dating app experience for your single friends and bridesmaids but instead of using the dance floor as a chance to casually introduce two single friends, use it as a time to focus on having fun and enjoying the people around you.

4. Try Not to Play Matchmaker

Think back to the time when you were single—one of the most annoying things people probably tried to do to you was play matchmaker. Instead of eyeballing the guest list looking for a single match for your single bridesmaid, ask first if she’s interested in having you take on that role, and if she declines, leave your matchmaking hat on the rack.

5. Keep it Fair

Treat all of your bridesmaids equally, even if some have a plus one or some are flying solo to your wedding. If you think it’s a good idea to give your single bridesmaid more wedding day responsibilities because you feel they will have more time to help you on the big day (since they aren’t bringing anyone with them), talk to them first before assuming that. Ask them if they would be willing to take on some more tasks for the wedding but also spread out your tasks as even as possible between your bridal party so resentment between your friends doesn’t start to happen.

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