My Friends Have a Ton of Opinions About Our Wedding. How Can I Tell Them to Back Off?

Updated 06/13/16

Allyson Magda Photography

Planning a wedding is exponentially easier when you're surrounded by people who totally get your vision and can help you bring it to life. Unfortunately, pretty much anyone who knows you're getting married has an opinion — and not all of them are useful. So what can you do when the opinions you're hearing are the opposite of what you're looking for? Our experts have a few tips for politely telling people to back off.

If the opinions are coming from someone who's not intimately involved in your wedding (or not even invited!), do your best to tone down the wedding talk in general. If they start prying for information, tell them you want your guests to all be surprised, and that you don't want to give anything away! If that doesn't help, thank them for their input and let them know that you've got a great team working on the details — and that you'll be sure to let them know if you need any advice!

For people you're closer to, it can get trickier. A bridesmaid who has a lot to say about every decision you make can put a damper on the whole process. If the above advice doesn't help and she's really getting you down, consider having a heart-to-heart with her about it. Let her know that you love her and value her opinions, but it's your wedding, not hers. If she's close enough to you to be a bridesmaid, she should understand if you ask her to keep her opinions to herself and to support you having the wedding of your dreams.

And of course, there are the family members. Whether it's your mom, your future mother-in-law, Grandma, or your sister, these are the hardest opinions to get away from. If they are genuinely trying to be helpful, hear them out. Sure, weddings are different than they were 30 years ago, but they just might have a good idea buried in there somewhere! But if all you're getting is negativity, ask them to be supportive. Let them know how much the choices you're making mean to you, and stay strong when it comes to areas where you won't compromise.

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