Admit it: So many of us want to have sex in public but don’t know how. It’s thrilling to feel like you might get caught, and we’re turned on by the taboo and naughty nature of doing things we’re not supposed to.
Sex in public is an art form, and pulling it off successfully is no joke. It takes skill and cunning to make it happen, but isn’t the planning (and then getting away with it) half the fun? (À la that backseat-of-a-car sex scene in Titanic—anyone remember that suggestive hand on the steamed-up-window moment?!)
Here is everything you need to know about having sex in public. Happy hunting!
Have a plan in place (if possible).
When it comes to the daunting art of exhibitionism, you’d think that spontaneity would be the root of public sex. While this can happen, it is ill-advised. Having sex in public is technically illegal, so therefore having a plan in place will help you follow through without incident (read: arrest).
Instead of sauntering off during a picnic with friends to have sex in a lightly wooded area, save the public sex for a time when you and your partner are alone. Pick a time and place when you’d like to try it and think the risk is minimal, then go forth. There isn’t much foreplay involved when you’re planning a quickie against a tree/in an elevator/on a plane, etc.
So, use the discussion about it beforehand as a way to get revved up for the action. It’s essentially just practical dirty talk.…
Move in the cover of darkness.
Timing is everything if you’re going to have sex outside. Don’t choose a time that coincides with heavy foot traffic or the unforgiving stare of the sun. Live by the darkness; that doesn’t necessarily mean you should go and have public sex at 3 a.m., but the evening is a much more preferable choice than high noon.
The more incognito you can make yourselves, the easier it is to pull off sex in public without a hitch. If you sneak into an elevator at 8 p.m. on a weeknight, people will probably be home for dinner. If you creep into a park at 7 p.m. on a summer evening, less people will be out strolling around or picnicking.
Do not have sex on playgrounds or anywhere near a school.
A playground in the dead of night may sound like a good idea, but it is not. If you get caught having sex on a playground, you might wind up on a sex-offender list. Yes, that is a thing.
Don’t choose places that are anywhere near where children roam, even if said children are not currently there.
Go for elevators (assuming you can press the “stop” button without setting off an alarm), stairwells, forests, parks, and airplane bathrooms. You want to avoid places that have lots of people.
Obviously, part of the fun of having sex in public is the chance of getting caught. But, try to get close to that danger factor while putting yourself in as little real danger as possible.
Keep your mouth shut.
Now is not the time to let your partner know how good things feel vocally. Do not use this sexcapade as your chance to shine light on your expert moaning skills and dirty-talk ability.
Be as quiet as you possibly can. Pretend you’re visiting your parents for the weekend and need to keep them in the dark as to what you and your partner are up to in your childhood bedroom. We are all about having loud, raucous, wild sex—but this really isn’t the time.
Don’t wear loud clothing.
Maybe skip the bright-yellow sundress or the fire-hydrant-red pants for this particular outing. It’s OK to dress a little sexy and in something that makes you feel comfortable and confident, but don’t opt for loud colors or patterns when the main objective is to go unnoticed.
Think muted colors and easy-to-remove/maneuver clothing such as skirts, shorts with simple buttons, and dresses.
Skip the underwear (both of you).
In that same vein, skip underwear. Both you and your partner can do without it for this particular outing.
Underwear of any variety creates an unnecessary barrier that will only be an annoying hindrance to your public sex. If you can lift your dress or skirt or pull down your pants and just go for it, you’ll be better off.
The key to pulling off exhibitionism: simplicity.
Gigi Engle is a sex educator and writer living in NYC. Her work has appeared in Cosmopolitan, Elle, Teen Vogue, Glamour, Allure, and Marie Claire and on Bustle.