From the moment you get engaged, people—friends, acquaintances, that lady behind you in line at the juice place—will demand, “Show me the engagement ring!” And doing so may trigger follow-ups, like How many carats? and Can I try it on? and, cringe, OMG how much did that cost?! By now, the #RingSelfie is a legit way to announce your news.
If that feels braggy, Myka Meier of Beaumont Etiquette in New York City suggests posting a portrait in which your left hand just happens to be visible. Of course, in real life, things get trickier—especially when people have, ahem, no filter. When Daniella Yacobovsky, founder of Baublebar, got engaged last fall, only her closest friends asked about the size, and “I didn’t mind telling them! The carat count on my ring ranks #458 on the list of invasive info they have on me,” she says with a laugh.
If you prefer playing it more coy, Meier recommends blanket responses like “I’m not sure [of the size], but I just love it!” and “Sorry, I’m superstitious about letting others try on my ring.”
And one thing you might not have considered—if your rock is sort of enormous (you poor thing), take it off for job interviews.
See more: 91 Engagement Ring Selfies We Love
“Don’t wear anything that might take attention away from you,” Yacobovsky says, “especially while you’re touting your amazing qualifications.”