Friends have a way of coming out of the woodwork when you get engaged. There’s a chance you’ll hear congratulations and get “likes” from people you haven’t heard from in years, alongside calls and texts from your closest pals. You may also receive offers to help with your wedding, whether it’s a recently married friend or coworker with from-the-trenches advice or someone who’s creative and is offering to assist with anything from DIY projects to baking your wedding cake. But if you’d rather stick with the pros (or already have a team of helpers assembled), it’s best to turn down an offer instead of putting it on the back burner. Our experts have the best ways to politely decline, while still keeping that relationship in tact.
If you receive an offer for wedding assistance that you don’t plan to accept, don’t string your friend along. Instead, respond promptly and politely. If you’ve already hired a pro, let your friend know! It’s as easy as saying, “Thank you so much for your generous offer! We’ve already hired a photographer/baker/florist for our wedding, but we really appreciate your offer to help us out!” and leave it at that.
For a more general offer to just “help out,” don’t worry about making excuses, but be careful if the offer comes from someone who isn’t going to be invited to the wedding. Keep your response simple and direct, thanking them for their kindness but letting them know you have everything under control. Don’t go into any more detail, or you’ll risk creating a rift between the two of you when their invitation doesn’t come. For a friend who will be invited as a guest, emphasize that you want them to come and enjoy the party as a guest, without having to worry about any of the details. After all, weddings are so much fun when you’re a guest!