Moms are an integral part to the wedding planning process. "Moms tend to be very enthusiastic in the planning process, often more than other family members or friends," explains Viva Max Kaley, owner of New York City-based Viva Max Weddings. They're hip to your aesthetic, happy to help out on DIY projects, savvy with saving money, and ready to celebrate the love you share with your partner.
But not all brides get to plan their big days with their moms by their sides. Some brides have parents who live far away, while others, sadly, have moms who have passed away. It won't be the same, but wedding planning without your mom can still be enjoyable.
If you mom lives in another state, she can still participate from afar. "Narrow down your options to your top picks and then share with her by phone or email," suggests Kaley. "That way, her valuable input is still present even if she can't be there at the meetings, answering questions in the moment." Delegate wedding tasks to her, too, for which you don't need to be present. "She can choose the contents of the hotel welcome bags, finalize the next-day brunch menu, or collect addresses for the guest list," says Kaley.
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If your mom has passed, your heart will surely ache as you plan your big day without her. "What's nice about having your mom present is the support she provides, and the fact that she will be honest even if it hurts to hear some of her thoughts," says Kaley. But "if your mom isn't there to do that, there are other people in your life who can step in." Your best friend would surely jump at the chance to attend your cake tasting, while your partner will stand beside you through the entire planning process. "When we're growing up, we get so much support from our moms," says Kaley. "But now your fiancé and close friends can take over that role and participate in some of the choices and difficult decisions."
Finally, whether your mom can't attend your vendor meetings or won't be involved in your big day at all, "be confident knowing you can make all of the wedding choices with your partner and friends, and know it will be wonderful," says Kaley. "The choices you're making will be loved by your guests, no matter what you decide. Don't be too hard on yourself — you can make these decisions and plan with or without your mom being present. You're going to have a great wedding, with mom or without."