How to Tackle Legit Any Wedding-Planning Disagreement

Before you hit the roof over his added guests or liquor requests, read this

Updated 05/23/17

Photo by Anna Page Photography

One of the less glamorous sides of wedding planning is the fact that disagreements, tension, and sometimes even flat-out arguments can arise. While it may not be discussed openly among friends or family, there are a lot of decisions, opinions, and preferences that go into planning your big day, and sometimes you may not see eye to eye with your partner.

Relax, it's all going to be okay. Here are some of our expert tips on how to overcome any wedding-planning disagreement.


The core principals of communication can help anyone overcome any sort of stressor or disagreement. By carefully listening, processing your thoughts prior to communicating them, and tempering any knee-jerk reactions or impulsive words, you'll find that strong and proper communication is always on your side.

Time Out

The phrase "sleep on it" has plenty of merit to it. As long as it's not an extremely time-sensitive disagreement or decision, there's something to be said for giving it (and yourselves) a time-out. By taking a breather before making a choice or engaging in an argument, you have time for emotions to settle and to think about the issue at hand. While it's important to "never go to bed angry," it's equally important to take some time prior to arguing or making any choices. As long as you and your partner agree to take some time to think about things (and end the evening with a smooch, of course!), it's recommended to discuss the issue again another day. Who knows how you may feel once you wake up refreshed and a bit more clearheaded?

Eliminate Distractions

Disagreements are more likely to arise when your focus shifts or is split. Before a disagreement comes to a head or escalates in the slightest, it's important to make sure that you're not distracted by any other tasks, issues, or events and that you are fully present when talking about whatever it is that is creating tension. Clear your head and your schedule and put your phone away while engaging in a discussion with your partner to make sure that you are present.

Find Middle Ground

This might not apply in every situation, but most of the time there are opportunities for a compromise, shift, or mutual agreement; it just might not be so obvious at first. Regardless of the argument, examine both sides of the disagreement and try to identify any areas that may lend themselves to compromise, or a little bit of good ol' give and take. This is not to say that anyone needs to abandon what he or she feels strongly about, but more often than not, there is always room for a little—OK, it's a cliché—compromise, a skill you'll be glad you've developed as you enter into marriage!

Refocus and Remember What's Important

Wedding planning is a stressful time, and arguments and friction are bound to arise at least once. When all else fails, remind each other exactly why these are happening to begin with: because you're planning your wedding! Your wedding, which will be a day filled with love, happiness, and memories, is one of the most important events in your life, and the whole reason it's happening is that you love each other. Disagreements are a part of any relationship, but by reminding yourselves of the core reason why you're in the situation in the first place, it's bound to put any friction into perspective. (It may even lead to some fun and romantic ways to make up too.)

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