It’s easy to say there are “golden rules” to keep your sex life going strong, but the truth is—it actually is that simple. Who knew?
If you keep track of your relationship and make a conscious effort to keep things smokin’, you’ll have an advantage. Couples who give weight to their sex lives have better relationships and marriages.
There are few guidelines to follow that will help you maintain a HOT AF sex life for the rest of your lives. After all, if it’s “death do us part” it better be a wild ride, right?
Here are the 10 golden rules to keep your sex life steamy.
1. Pause for a makeout sesh
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married five minutes or 15 years, never ever stop making out. We’re not just talking about a goodbye kiss or a peck here and there. Stop on the street corner and have a full blown make out session. Get a little hot and heavy, PG13 in the laundry room. Making out helps keep that romance factor alive. It reminds your partner how much you love them.
Who cares what people think? You’re in love. That’s pretty magical.
2. Foreplay is always play
Foreplay should really be called “always-play.” It’s not optional and should have a regular part in your sex routine, not just a cameo on special occasions. If your vagina is not properly lubricated and your vulva isn’t properly aroused, sex is not going to be as fun. It might even hurt.
When you start associating sex with dissatisfaction, you’re not going to want to have it as often. Bad sign.
3. Stay on a sex routine
Life gets busy. This is just a fact. Don’t let sex take a back seat just because you have a million things to do. If you’ve noticed you’re not having as much sex, set up a schedule. Maintenance sex is important for people in LTRs.
It keeps you and your partner feeling close. In the words of Nike, “Just do it.”
4. Masturbate for all time
Despite what you may have heard, masturbation does have a place in long-term relationships. When you engage in self-love, you keep your nerve endings peaked, making you more likely to want partnered sex. We know, a little counterintuitive, but seriously, it works.
You can also try mutual masturbation. It’s as easy as it sounds—you and your partner lie next to each other and get yourselves off. It’s hot to watch your partner touch themselves and when you’re too tired for full blown sex, it’s a good alternative.
5. Devote yourself to the clitoris
The clitoris is queen. You must live and die by the clitoris. One in three women cannot have an orgasm through P in the V sex alone so, the clit needs special attention. There are lots of ways to involve the clitoris in sex, whether it be with fingers, tongue or a toy.
6. Check in with your partner
Communication is the foundation of healthy relationships and a good sex life. Ask your partner how they’re feeling about your sex life. Is there anything you can do to make things better for them? Something you can try?
Likewise, voice your desires and concerns. Staying silent will only cause strain. Make sure everyone is getting what they want out of your romps in the sack.
7. Sext two to three times per week
Sexting is not just for the early stages of dating. Sexting is virtual foreplay that keeps couples engaged. It’s 2018, time to get with the times!
Wondering where to begin? Check out our guide to sexting and dirty talk here.
8. Feel each other up outside of the bedroom
Touch your partner. Every couple has their own style. Is your partner alright with an ass-grab in the kitchen? Go for it. Slip your hand around your partner’s waist while walking down the street. Place a palm on his or her chest at a party. Run a hand up their thigh in a movie theatre.
Often small physical acts of intimacy build sexual tension even better than dirty talk—which you can make manifest in the bedroom later. Either way, touch is still important.
9. Try something new (and maybe a little weird)
Don’t be afraid to change up the routine. Have you always wanted to give role play a go? Make it happen. Been interested in handcuffs and spanking? Give it a whirl.
In long-term relationships, sex can get stale if you don’t maintain eroticism. Despite what movies may lead you to believe about finding “The One” or what your mother told you about “sex losing its importance,” sorry mom, sex definitely does not lose its importance. Be a champ and try new things into your nineties.
10. Remind your partner how sexy they are
Now, no matter how stressed out you are with life, your partner, your job, or your kids—don’t forget to remind the man or woman you love that they are SEXY as HELL.
It may seem frivolous, but it is not. And it takes, like, five seconds to tell someone they’re hot in those pants. If your partner feels desirable, they are going to be more receptive to sex. Getting an ego boost is something we all need. Plus, it builds trust and love between you.