Sex in a relationship is definitely important. And yes, you can just take 20 minutes out of a day for sex with your partner. But is that really enough to keep sexual attraction and intimate connection thriving in your relationship?
1. Send him non-sexual photos of you.
Not every photo you send to your partner requires flashing your naked body. Instead, text some great pics to your man right after a fresh haircut or color or while smiling at him during your day. No need to be overtly sexy, just charming. Pleasantly surprising him with a photo of the fine woman he loves puts a smile on his face.
My fiancé uploads my new hairstyle pics to his main screen, and I always get a "wow" back from him. Part of me finds it embarrassing, but I still love it.
2. Go on a vacation together.
It doesn't matter if it's only for a day or a full week, just go away with him and plan something you'd both love to do. The key is planning this activity together — don't do it alone. Try activities that you both enjoy and increase your connection by adding some relaxation time together.
Make sure that you use this time for positive, loving, fun talks. It's not the time to deal with kids' issues, financial situations, or other draining topics. If you must, agree to set aside a time to discuss heavier matters, do so when your minds are clear and calm.
3. Sprinkle his day with compliments.
We all love compliments and yet we often don't bother to give them out to our loved one. Are we too busy or just forgetful? Could we be harboring some resentment, pain, or anger within ourselves?
You may have some work to do in this area, but the effort is well worth it in creating a stronger relationship. Catch your man doing something right — and tell him about it.
4. Get physical but not sexual.
Touch creates more trust, intimacy, and offers several other benefits. It makes us feel good and soothes us into a greater connection. Most people enjoy being touched in certain ways that are unique to them. And not every act of physical affection has to turn into a make-out session. Just do what feels right and watch the advantages come to life.
5. Be playful and spontaneous.
Come on ladies — it's time to jump it up a notch. It's so easy (and boring) to do what you always do. So get moving and throw that big sloppy kiss on him when you're cleaning the garage. Slap that butt when he's washing the car. Be a bit silly. Think of ways to lighten up and make him laugh (it makes him adore you). More play equals more fun.
6. Really bond with his family.
It's important to form realistic bonds with your significant other's family, if that's important to him. Although it's tricky, you need to know when to zip it and when to say what comes to mind when you're around his family.
Having new family members is fun and rewarding and shows him that you care about his world. Be as kind and understanding as you can, yet be supportive to him.
7. Open your heart to his little ones.
There could be nothing more important to a parent than their child. As a significant other, you need to know and accept this fact. If your partner has kids from a prior relationship, open your heart to those children without overstepping your boundaries. Take the child's lead and move slowly as you talk with them and get to know them better.
Earning trust is valuable. Ask a few questions and know when it's time to back off. Grow the relationship slowly. Don't expect his kids to fall in love with you right away, if ever. Remember, he will love you more when you show care and consideration for his children.
8. Make showing affection a daily habit.
It's so easy to just walk past each other when walking through the door. Don't do that. Create healthy relationships habits that stick.
Kiss all day long, especially when you wake up, before bed, and upon seeing each other after time apart. Find affectionate gestures that he loves and do them for him. In return, let him know the simple gestures he can do to make your day.
Increasing sensuality in relationship outside of the bedroom is a two-way street.
Couples often forget that everyday experiences that make each other happy are just as important as (if not more important than) that 20-minute romp in the sack.
Lori Peters is a radio show host, writer, and speaker in happiness and well-being. She serves adults who are interested in keeping their happiness levels up and writes about happiness and relationships focusing on those over 35.Check out her free resources, services and sign up for her monthly newsletter at the Happiness Hangout.
This article originally appeared on YourTango