Getting engaged should be one the happiest moments of your life. So what's with the Negative Nellies? Most people will be happy for you, but, inevitably, there will be a sour voice rising above the chorus of congrats.
You might expect it from that perpetual bachelor pal or your friend who's going through a nasty divorce, but when it comes from someone dear who you wouldn't expect, it's confusing and hurtful. While we can't promise to take away the sting, keeping these three things in mind will help you take it in stride.
Negative voices always seem loudest.
You know all about squeaky wheels. Don't let naysayers color your perception of the whole event. You and your man are embarking on a wonderful adventure together. Focus on that and on your many supporters.
Find the thread of concern.
Oftentimes, negative comments are simply incredibly awkward ways of expressing concern. If your happy news takes your loved one off guard, their initial reaction might not be the one you'd like to hear. Instead, consider the intention. Zero in on what they're really trying to say. Acknowledge it and thank them for their care. Chances are, they are truly happy for you, but just need a chance to process it.
It's more about them than you.
Most of the time, a person's negative comments are reflective of their own issues. Upon hearing your happy news, the person may experience jealousy or fears of being alone — feelings they might not always realize they had. It is hard to do, but try not to take their hurtful comments personally, because, more than likely, they aren't really about you at all.
Jolène M. Bouchon is a regular contributor to Brides.com and a freelance writer.