When it comes to planning a wedding, some mothers of the the bride are more content to sit on the sidelines than jump into the pre-nuptial chaos. However, having a parent by your side to help manage the burden is the best gift any bride-to-be could ask for. Founder of renowned New York City wedding planning company Classic Events Danielle Elder offered her expertise for simple ways to include an uninvolved mother of the bride in the wedding-planning process. "Many mothers of the bride today don't know where to start," Elder reveals. But everyone needs a little Mom, right?" Here, Elder's 4 easy tips.
1. Embrace a Family Heirloom
When in doubt, Elder suggests looking to family antiques for inspiration. "Ask her for a favorite heirloom or piece of jewelry to wear on your wedding day," Elder recommends. "If mom doesn't have one to share or it doesn't match your overall look, ask her for a small wedding photo instead. We had one of our brides tuck in a old photo of her parents on their wedding day into her bouquet as a nod to mom and mad." Carrying a piece of your mother with you on the big day will make her feel included in the ceremony with minimal effort.
2. Include Vintage Selfies
If event planning isn't her forte, ask your mom to provide a picture for the occasion instead. "Ask her to put together old photos for a rehearsal dinner or cocktail hour slide show," Elder proposes. "She will love pouring over memories of you as a little girl and feel like she is contributing to the wedding celebrations with this important task."
3. Add a Spoonful of Love
Selecting fabric swatches and choosing wedding china aren't the only routes for involving your mother in the big day. A mother's involvement can be as simple as contributing a family recipe. "Did mom sooth you with a favorite dessert or food growing up? Of course she did. Ask her to share her recipes" Elder advises brides. "Talk with your venue or caterer and ask to feature her best cake or cookies during a dessert course or something inspired from her kitchen during dinner. And don't forget to note it on the menu or signage so she can get bragging rights."
4. Make Chores Into a Bonding Session
Instead of toiling away at tedious tasks solo, ask your mom to join in for an impromptu family bonding session. “Assembling your wedding invitations: This can be a chore, especially with a large guest list. If mom lives nearby, include her by asking her to join you in stuffing those envelopes,” Elder urges brides. "Having her stamp and seal over some dinner or a glass of wine is an easy way to help her feel needed and part of the process."