How to Get Along With Your Partner's Best Friend

When his best man is your worst nightmare

Updated 06/15/18

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Some people will tell you that when you marry a person, you also marry that person’s family. But in addition to acquiring a slew of cousins, aunts, uncles, and of course, a new set of parents, you are also marrying that person’s nearest and dearest friends, too.

If your fiancé has close friends that feel like family, you can expect to see them quite often (maybe even a little too often), at holidays, on weekends, and even on vacations together. Which is all fine and dandy if you like your fiancé’s squad of friends. However, it can be a special challenge if you don’t like them at all.

Whether you like it or not, your fiancé’s BFF will soon start to feel like your BFF. To help you stop rolling your eyes or tossing your hands in the air out of pure frustration when you’re around that person in the years to come, here are four tips to help you get along with your partner's best friend that you just don’t like.

Find Something You Have in Common

One of the reasons you might have for not liking your partner's BFF is that you have nothing in common—AKA nothing to talk about—or when you’re around them, you find yourself bored to tears over the conversation. An easy way to strike up reoccurring conversation is to find out two or three things you have in common, whether it’s that you root for the same sport’s team or you both love the same kind of food. Having conversation starters with this person will help you build a relationship with them and have something to say when you’re stuck at the same table or in the same car.

Understand Why You Don’t Like Them

If you find that you’re always arguing with the BFF of your partner over every little thing, it might be time to take a step back and examine where the tension and the frustration with this person is coming from. Is it because of something they did in the past that you just can’t let go of? Is it because they are a bad influence on your fiancé? Or is it that they just bring trouble with them wherever they go? Figure out the root cause of your negative feelings toward this person so you can start to understand your relationship with them better and see whether it’s worth it to fix it, or if you’re just better off figuring out how to deal with it.

Pick Your Battles

If this person is making you go mad almost every time you find yourself in the same room with them, try to remember to take a deep breath and pick your battles. Fighting over every little thing will only add more tension to your relationship with your fiancé. Instead of reacting to the things they do that make you upset, stay calm, walk away from the situation if you have to, and then have a conversation with that person, or even your partner later on to let them know what upset you.

Have a Diversion Plan

Just because that BFF seems to always be around doesn’t mean that you have to spend all your time with them. When you find yourself stuck hanging out with them, let your fiancé know ahead of time that you won’t be around for the whole time and make other plans instead. On occasions when you just want alone time with your fiancé, let him or her know that you want one-on-one time without the BFF hanging around.

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