If you’re blessed with multiple sisters, an amazing sister-in-law, or a crazy close group of girlfriends, the thought of playing favorites to pick your maid of honor can be totally daunting. Any one of them will be able to fill the role flawlessly, so it’s up to you to decide who gets the title. We asked our experts to share some tips that will help you figure out who to tap for this all-important role.
Figure Out What You Need
First, determine what you want and need from a maid of honor. Some brides are looking for a pal who will help with the wedding to-do list, from dress shopping to DIYs, while other merely want to use the position to honor a close friend or sibling. If you really want your MOH to take charge and plan an epic bachelorette weekend or pack the perfect welcome bag, seek a friend who is organized or crafty. If the role is a title, not a job, you may lean toward whoever is closest to you, no matter her skill set.
Know What’s On Her Plate
Of course, any of these women would be prime bridesmaid candidates, but when it comes to asking one to take on an even bigger role, keep her life in mind. If your childhood bestie just had her first baby, she might not be ready to also take on those MOH duties, and if your sister isn’t 21, planning a bachelorette bash may not be right for her. Not sure if she’s up for it? Just ask! Let her know you’d like her to be involved as much as she can be, even if that’s in title only.
Consider Double Duty: Two is better than one, and that applies to maids of honor too. Spread the love—and the responsibilities—by tapping two women to fill the role, allowing them each to play to their strengths and help each other out.
No MOH at All
If you’re worried that other bridesmaids might have hurt feelings because they didn’t make the cut, or if you really can’t narrow your options down, scrap the position altogether! There’s nothing saying you can’t get married without a maid of honor, and being diplomatic might be the best choice if it means keeping peace in the bridal suite. Instead of singling out one friend as extra special, put all of your ‘maids on equal footing, avoiding unnecessary drama.
Look Beyond the Obvious
Who says your maid of honor has to be your sister or a girlfriend if you’re closer with someone else? Ask your brother or best guy friend to be the man of honor, or look to your family. If your mom is your best friend, ask her to take her place by your side at the altar. Particularly close to your grandma? Just think how adorable she’ll look walking down the aisle on the best man’s arm!