How to Be Happy for Engaged Friends

When your love life is a mess

Updated 01/15/19

Stocksy

It can feel like an extra-large blow to your heart when you start to get the phone calls or see the social media posts that your friends are getting engaged while your love life is one giant question mark. Proposal season is definitely upon us. The first couple of months of any new year are known for people popping the question. So even if you've handled it before, it can feel extra hard this time of year to find ways to celebrate others' "perfect" love lives when yours is lost in endless swiping right and left.

Whether you've found yourself in a funk or you're hopeful that you can put your own Game of Thrones–like love adventures aside this season, here are five ways to be genuinely happy for your friends who say yes during this engagement season.

1. Put them before you.

With news of another engagement comes a swirl of negative thoughts about what you're doing wrong in the dating game while everyone around you miraculously crosses the finish line. Instead of comparing and contrasting your life with theirs, instead, find ways to put them first. Plan an engagement night out so you can give them your full attention and celebrate this big moment in their life. Taking a break from thinking about your own love life and focusing on someone else's will give you a sense of renewed energy.

2. Schedule time off social media.

One of the easiest ways to feel down this engagement season is spending too much time on social media. Within minutes, you'll find yourself looking at engagement rings, cute proposals, and wedding videos, feeling extra unhappy. All of the moments you spend on social media eyeballing other people's love lives will translate into how you treat your recently engaged friends.

3. Decide what you want to do with your love life.

Even if your love life feels like a mess, watching those nearest and dearest to you get engaged might motivate you to do something different in your own life. Maybe it gives you a boost in courage to download a new dating app, go to a matchmaker, or even just say OK to a blind date.

4. Keep your love life off-limits.

Ask your newly engaged friends not to ask you about your love life for a little while. That way, when you're off on bachelorette parties or engagement bashes, you can steer away from having to deal with a sudden mood change when someone asks you how your dating life is. Just let everyone know that your dating stories are hush-hush, and you want to make the celebration fully focused on the bride-to-be.

5. Set conversation limits.

One way to make sure you're not eye rolling the bride or getting frustrated by her is to set conversation limits. If all she does is talk wedding planning and how perfect her partner is, you might want to find ways to excuse yourself from that constant type of conversation. Set limits for how often you can make yourself available to hear about someone else's wedding plans and how often you just need a break so that it doesn't consume you in the most resentful kind of way.

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