Every week, we give our readers a glimpse inside the mindset of a guy's brain on weddings with the help of the hilarious and smart editors at The Plunge.
Your wedding day is fast approaching, and you have a million things to worry about. Will your wedding dress fit right? Will the centerpieces arrive in time? Will your Uncle Barry and Aunt Enid be able to get through the reception without killing each other? You may not believe this, but your fiancé is nervous too. Sure, he's playing it all calm and unruffled, but there are plenty of worries simmering just below the surface. One of the biggest is: Are my friends going to make complete fools of themselves at the reception?
You see, your fiancé knows his buds. He's seen them drunk, high, on the prowl in bars. He knows the short-sighted, under-handed and sometimes plain crazy things they'll do in order to get laid. His single friends might see the wedding as a golden opportunity to score, and will be eyeing all of the eligible women there — whether it's your sister, one of your bridesmaids, one of your cousins, even your sexy aunt. A wedding is a romantic affair in which everyone gets riled up and ready to go. Add music and booze, and the odds of hooking up go through the roof.
As do the odds of drama resulting from said hook-ups. Your fiancé doesn't want drama at the wedding, believe us. He knows that drama will only upset you — and that if you're upset, in the end, he'll be the one who has to pay for it. So you can bet that at some point he's going to lay down the rules with his friends. Rules such as...
1. Don't make a pass at the bride's sister(s). That's waaay too loaded.
2. Don't be a creep. If that redheaded bridesmaid is clearly not interested, move along.
3. Be discreet. Don't have a makeout session in the middle of the dance floor. This isn't the 8th grade prom.
4. Don't double dip. One of the worst forms of wedding drama is when one guest gets jilted for another.
5. Get drunk, not wasted. If you're going to go for romance, make sure you're sober enough to actually pull of something romantic.
6. Don't s**t where I eat. The girl you hook up with might be one of my bride's relatives, or good friends, or co-workers. That means she is part of the extended family that I am about to join. You might be able to disappear after the wedding, but I can't.
You may notice a pattern here. Essentially, your fiancé is telling his friends not to be selfish. This wedding is not just an opportunity for them to put another notch on their belts. This wedding is a celebration of your relationship. Nothing should take the spotlight off of you and your new life together. If your fiancé's friends are true friends, they'll realize this, and keep their hormones in check.
At least until the two of you leave for your hotel... After that, all bets are off.