How Sex Before Bed Can Improve Your Relationship

Is sex before snoozing the answer?

Updated 01/15/18


Looking to improve your sex life and get back some of that coveted spark? Try sex before you hit the hay. Yes, we’re serious.

Sex before bed might be the answer you’ve been waiting for without even realizing it. There is plenty of debate over when the best time of day is best for sex, but right before shuteye has results backed by science.

We’re not suggesting you skip the afternoon delight, but simply make having sex before going to sleep a priority. Sex is an important part of relationships. With busy schedules and countless responsibilities to attend to, sex often takes a backseat. This isn’t good for your overall happiness.

Instead of getting down, make sex a part of your daily activities. Here is why sex before bed can help to improve your sex life and relationship.

It will bring you closer.

The old saying goes, “Never go to bed angry.” We think you should go to bed sexually satisfied. Orgasms are a one-way ticket to sound sleep.

After an amazing sex session and orgasm, your brain releases a cocktail of feel-good hormones such as serotonin and oxytocin. Oxytocin, also known as the “Love Hormone,” creates feelings of pair bonding. Studies have shown that oxytocin is a key component in the creation of feelings of love.

Releasing this hormone right before bed will leave you with positive feelings about your partner—which you then take into dream world (aka: your subconscious). Obviously sex right before bed isn’t the cure-all for tumultuous partnerships, but it can be a helpful factor if you’re looking to shift your mindset towards a more positive tract.

Additionally, cuddling breeds closer relationships. When you are feeling close to your partner post-orgasm, you get more of that skin-to-skin contact that we humans need and crave to feel safe.

It gives you something to look forward to each day.

Make sex before bed part of your daily routine: Coffee, work, gym, dinner, sex, bed.

Think about it: sex is only around 20-30 minutes of your entire day. Is it really that difficult to squeeze it in?

Adding sex into the regular routine will allow it to stop being cumbersome and make it exciting. It will give you something to look forward to at the end of a hard day, which will make you excited to see your partner. When the two of you have this intimate activity on the books a few nights per week, it will bring you closer to each other.

You can even up the ante by designating one night to “trying something new;” Whether it be handcuffs, looking at erotic material, or trying a new sex position. Sex right before bed might be the thing that keeps your marital groove alive.

Sex before bed will reduce your stress levels.

Marriage isn’t easy. It takes work. Therefore, doing everything you can to ease the growing pains is helpful. Sex before bed might be just the thing you need. Among its many other benefits, orgasm reduces production of the body’s natural stress hormone, cortisol. Reducing stress before bed can improve your relationship by setting you on a course for better days to come.

We make associations to places and objects by way of memory. You want your place of rest to be as least stressful as possible. If you make your room a place that induces feelings of pleasure and relaxation, you’ll be more likely to enjoy going to your room. Less stress, more sex. It’s been the antidote all along.

Sex improves sleep.

Sex at any time of day is wonderful, but it is particularly useful right before bed because of its sleep benefits. Recent studies have shown that our old pal oxytocin does more than create feelings of closeness, it can drastically improve your quality of sleep.

A study showed that 64% of participants who achieved orgasm before bed saw an improvement in their sleep. That’s a significant percentage. Just be sure both you and your partner both climax to reap the benefits.

Too tired for intercourse? Try a masturbation session together. It requires less energy and is actually quite kinky (because of its lack of mainstream attention). It may sound a bit unorthodox, but there is no wrong way to experience sexuality. It’s about taking time to be with your partner and enjoy each other’s pleasure.

You can even pop on a porn video if you’re feeling extra adventurous.

Gigi Engle is a sex educator and writer living in Chicago. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @GigiEngle.

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