For many women, this scenario is just another Saturday night: A gaggle of girlfriends gather, a bottle of wine is opened, and the explicit sex talk begins. After all, who's doing it — and how often we're having sex — is some of the hottest gossip a group of women have.
"There are many reasons women talk about their sex lives," says Andrea Syrtash, relationship expert and author of Cheat on Your Husband (With Your Husband). "In some cases, they're trying to figure out if their sexual practices and habits are 'normal.' A number of women grew up in households or communities in which sex talk wasn't encouraged — and now as adults, they have an opportunity to ask questions, compare notes and get educated about something that's an important part of their lives. And, let's face it — sex talk can be pretty fun!"
But once you've hitched your sex horse to a single man, so to speak, is it more appropriate shut up about your sex life? While you don't have to remain completely mum, Syrtash recommends limiting your talk time out of respect for your new husband.
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"It's okay to confide in one or two good friends, whom you trust, with details and questions," she says. "But consider that your partner may not want multiple people he regularly sees to know everything about what happens behind closed doors. It's not respectful to share too much with too many unless your partner is extremely open himself, and knows you gab to many about your sexual habits."
Finally, remember: While in-person talks with your closest girlfriends are A-OK, the details of your sex life never belong online. "Just because we're used to sharing details of our lives on social media, we need to remember that some things are better left to stay behind closed doors," Syrtash says. "Sex with your partner is a very personal and private act, and you should consider how he would feel when you share details. This is not to say you can't confide in a close friend or therapist about your concerns and questions. In fact — you should!"