You've probably been dreaming of your wedding day ever since you were a little girl. You envisioned yourself twirling around in a ballgown with your Prince Charming leading the way across the room. Sadly, real life does not always gift you the luxury of having a fairytale wedding that goes off without a hitch, and these horror stories from Reddit just go to prove it. A warning to all brides? These are bad. Like really, really bad. So if your officiant doesn't show up on your big day or the flower girl throws a fit before walking down the aisle, just know that it could get worse.
Much worse. Read on for some of the most cringe-worthy wedding stories we've ever heard.
"At my friends wedding after the ceremony, my cousin, his best man, got completely destroyed before his best man's speech. He proceeded to go up on stage, ramble for 15-20 minutes telling crude jokes and how many women the groom had slept before he met his now wife. He then jumped off the stage, fell over on the landing and split his pants open down the ass. Still not done, he challenged the groom's 75-year-old grandpa to a wrestling match...and lost. Groom told him after he woke up from passing out later on the floor in the corner that he'd never forgive him."
"A few years back I went to a wedding of a family friend of mine. The bride's parents had divorced when she was very little and she decided to have her step-dad walk her down the aisle since she was much closer to him than her real father. Well, her father's family was not too thrilled about that and her grandma basically threw bitch fits the entire time. About half way through the reception, the bride was so upset about how they were acting, she stood up on the main table and screamed, 'NANA, GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE.' Thats not something you hear everyday."
"My MIL is crazy. Her favorite thing to do is make people deeply uncomfortable, and hardly anyone talks to her for that. Anyhow, her one daughter had an outdoor wedding the summer when West Nile virus was all over the news. So, to get attention, she threw a giant fit, and showed up to the wedding wearing a pith helmet she had brought back from Australia, in camouflage, with mosquito netting, and refused to take it off. She is in all the wedding photos like this, the mother of the bride, looking entirely pleased with herself."
"My dad was at a wedding where there were all sorts of 'pristine and exquisite' sauces and garnishes (it was basically re-bottled ketchup, and mayo). And when people got their food they would just garnish it however they wanted, my dad reached for the ketchup and tried to get some out. But, keeping to the order of ketchup, none came out. So he shook the ketchup like anyone else would to allow it to flow out. One problem, he forgot to put the cap on just as he shook it in a motion over his shoulder, who was behind him?
The bride...in her white dress. Our family isn't in contact with them any more."
"The worst thing I ever saw at a wedding was something I did. I was at a friend's wedding a couple years ago. It was me, my brother and another friend attending together. Full Catholic mass wedding, in a church with hard wooden pews. Halfway through in my boredom I tried to relieve a little pressure and ease out a quick, silent fart. Well, it wasn't quiet and it wasn't quick, and instead of being covered up by loud music it went off in a dead silent part of the service. No music, no talking, nothing but 'The Fart.' It bounced off that wooden pew and echoed through the silent church.
We were sitting about 15 rows back and my friend getting married up front could hear it. You can hear it on the wedding video. My brother and friend stared at me in shock, and all three of us quickly started pointing at each other as everyone started looking our way, all of us beet red, all us trying not to laugh out loud. The three of us spent the last 30 minutes of the ceremony just trying to keep our s*** together. We were all hunched over, staring at the floor, snorting as we held in our laughter.
Just when we would get it under control we'd look over at each other, see the other in a similar state and get set off again. We all looked like we were having a stroke trying to hold in our laughter. To this day, the thing everyone remembers about that wedding is my fart."
"I was behind the private bar (as a bartender) and I noticed the bride running around frantically asking for help and all the groomsmen in a complete panic because they can't find the groom! It turns out he went outside with his best man to blow a line of coke in the parking lot and got arrested and sent to jail like an hour into his own wedding reception. It ruined the entire event for everyone. The bride proceeded to get completely shit-canned and make a scene, causing about half of their guests to just sort of quietly leave, and they left 5 full kegs of beer behind, all of which they still had to pay for.
It was so uncomfortable going up to the father of the bride and asking him to sign the credit receipt, which included all of the stuff he still had to pay for but that they couldn't consume."
"I didn't witness it myself but my father told me a story once of when he was at a wedding. The groom decided half way through the ceremony that he didn't want to get married. He was then attacked by the father and brother of the bride. After a brawl (and a few bloody noses) he changed his mind and they got married."
"I used to work weddings. There was a Russian bride whose bridal party didn't approve of her groom-to-be, and they had literally beat the s*** out of her and locked her in a trunk the week before the wedding in attempts to change her mind. Heavy make-up couldn't hide the bruises on the wedding day; her sister wore a white dress. AND she had to get a motley bridal party with similarly colored, mismatched dresses, as she obviously didn't want the old group there anymore. What amazed me most: she was still so very happy to be committing herself to her partner, and those bruises could hardly be noticed after the ceremony, as her smile was so bright."
See more: 4 Sister-In-Law Horror Stories (And You Thought Your Mother-in-Law Was Bad!)
"Well this happened yesterday afternoon at my cousin's wedding. All was going well until my 5-year-old cousin, the ring bearer, takes the cushion with the ring on it and spins it above his head, throwing it at the flower girl, my 4-year-old cousin who had been making faces at him — leaving the bride's ring nowhere to be found. It took all of the bridesmaids and groomsmen a good while of crawling around on their knees to recover it."
"My mom toasting the groom (not me, thankfully) and saying how thankful she was to have the bride come into his life, thereby removing any questions about the groom's sexual orientation."
"Two of my friends got married. The groom cheated on his bride quite often, including the night before the wedding. An anonymous text was sent out and spilled the beans to the bride. A fight ensued, but the wedding continued as planned. Also, the girl that did the bride's makeup for the wedding. Well, that was the girl who had been sleeping with the groom. I have never witnessed a more awkward situation in my life."
"At my parents wedding, my mother's brother passed out during the ceremony and hit his head on the ground so hard it was bleeding. Then, in response, another of her brothers passed out at the sight of the blood. They kept going with the ceremony."
"I bartend weddings so I get to see like 20-30 a year, and probably the craziest thing I've ever seen was only a couple of weeks ago. The bride was absolutely plastered, bar was closed, and she's leaning against the bar. Some really dorky guy comes up to her and starts telling her how he thought they were always more than friends, and they had a deep connection, and as if to just shut this moron up, the bride pulls the top of her dress down, says 'there', and then walks away."
Read more of these absolutely horrifying wedding stories here.