Hillary Clinton Reflects on Marriage in Her New Memoir

She gets real about life with Bill

Updated 09/07/17

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The latest Hillary Clinton memoir is here and the former presidential candidate isn't holding back. In What Happened, Clinton addresses everything from the final moments of her campaign to the reasons she thinks she lost—and how her marriage to former president Bill Clinton has held up after decades of public scrutiny.

Despite near-constant rumors about the legitimacy of a marriage that remains in the public eye, Clinton writes that her life with Bill has consisted of “many, many more happy days than sad or angry ones.”

She points out that even as the nation was confronted with a head-scratching election season—with the assumed Democratic contender facing fierce competition from her own party and over a dozen candidates across the aisle—there was still room for her marriage to be a topic of conversation. “I heard it again on the 2016 campaign...it’s just a marriage on paper now,” she writes, noting, “(he is reading this over my shoulder in our kitchen with our dogs underfoot and in a minute he will reorganize our bookshelves for the millionth time...but I don’t mind because he really loves to organize those bookshelves).”

With a couple of lines about dogs and bookshelves, she implies the kind of intimacy that comes after decades of sharing time and space with a person. Just shy of 25 years after the pair married in October 1975, the world watched as allegations came to light about former president Clinton’s affair with White House intern Monica Lewinsky. The infamous scandal called into question many things about the couple, especially the strength of their marriage.

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But in What Happened, the latest of three Hillary Clinton memoirs, she talks through what she’s had to do in order to keep the marriage intact.

"There were times that I was deeply unsure about whether our marriage could or should survive," she wrote, according CNN, which purchased an early-release copy. "But on those days, I asked myself the questions that mattered to me: Do I still love him? And can I still be in this marriage without becoming unrecognizable to myself—twisted by anger, resentment, or remoteness? The answers were always yes."

In the book, which will be available September 12, the former First Lady muses on why people don’t seem to like her ("I think it's partly because I'm a woman.”), takes responsibility for her 2016 loss ("It was my campaign. Those were my decisions.") and, above all else, refuses to simply walk away from the failure with so many things left unsaid.

"There were plenty of people hoping that I, too, would just disappear," she writes. "But here I am."

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