Self-care and wellness can be tricky to navigate. Whether you are on a spiritual journey or just trying to successfully drink two glasses of water every day, there are a million things out there to try. From yoga to meditation to face masks—SO. MANY. FACE. MASKS.—you may think you've tried it all—but wait! Here’s one more thing to add to the list: crystal therapy.
Yes, crystals, the one percenters in the rock class system, might be right for you and your relationship. Whether you or people you know are drawn to them purely for their beauty or the energetic healing properties, crystals have entered the mainstream, and are often marketed as a cure-all for all of life's woes. However, Heather Askinosie of Energy Muse bring us back down to earth: “If someone thinks that a crystal is going to change their life, they’re going to be really disappointed,” she says.
Yikes. Okay, so maybe they won’t totally transform your life, but if you are a believer and use them correctly, crystals can help ground yourself and bring good energy—juju if you will—into your life.
Askinosie, co-founder (with Timmi Jandro) of Energy Muse and co-writer of Crystal Muse: Everyday Rituals to Tune In to the Real You, says crystals serve as a physical reminder of your internal intentions, and can help keep us centered and grounded, which can be beneficial in relationships.
“Sometimes it’s hard to get conversations going or get to a place where someone wants to get vulnerable,” Askinosie says. “When a partner (or both people) puts a crystal over their heart, it helps tap into your heart and speak more kindly, which usually helps conversations flourish.”
Once you find the crystal that’s right for you, cleanse it by letting it sit in either moonlight or sunlight, or by smudging it with sage, then it’s time to program it.
“Utilizing whatever your belief system is, hold the crystal in your hand and give your crystal a job,” Askinosie says. Tell your crystal “I program you to…[insert wildest hopes and dreams here]” so that the minute you see that crystal you remember what you want it to help you with.
“It’s not that you are going to wear a crystal and in two days you are going to meet the love of your life," she says. "But what will happen? Once you put that crystal on, you'll be open to attracting somebody, open to getting out there, and more open to taking more time for yourself,” she says. “It’s just a tool to help you remember to connect with something that you want to manifest.”
Here are the exact crystals perfect for you and your relationship status
Single And Looking For Love
For a woman looking for “the one,” or maybe just her next fling, rose quartz will help attract a partner. It’s the go-to love stone—Askinosie says women will put it in their bra before going on a date or wear it as jewelry. Dudes, malachite is the stone for you.
Strengthening An Established Relationship
Once you’ve found your partner and you want to add strength to your relationship, pairing amethyst or blue sapphire to a rose quartz sphere in the bedroom will help bring you together. Blue sapphires have a reputation for being a stone of fidelity, so with this by your bedside, you might keep cheating at bay.
Getting Through A Rough Patch
For a couple going through an epic fight or a relationship slump, rainbow obsidian is the stone to turn to. This stone is characterized by its dark volcanic glass appearance, but when you look closer, a spectrum of color is revealed inside.
“When you are going through a rough patch, feelings have been hurt, things have been said, and when you put rainbow obsidian over your heart, it helps to clear out the pain, clear out the energy of things that need to be forgiven or let go of or communicated, and it helps to heal the dark part of your relationship,” Askinosie says. "But it also penetrates you with this vibration of rainbows, infusing you with light.” (Dang!)
The Baby Maker
When you're ready for your two-some to become a three-some—a child, that is—moonstone will get the job done. Askinosie says it helps women reconnect with their feminine energy and is good for fertility. Need confirmation? After wearing her wedding dress lined with moonstone, she conceived on her wedding night. A coincidence? I think not.
Reigniting The Flame
Sexual slumps can be just as real as emotional ones. Pull yourself out of dry spell with sunstone. When paired with garnet or carnelian they work together as passionate revitalizing stones to increase a woman’s libido.