If you were expecting to see Gwyneth Paltrow walk down the aisle in a Shakespeare in Love–inspired white gown, don’t get your hopes up.
The newly engaged GOOP founder opened up to Entertainment Tonight about her plans for the big day, which may actually be more of a small day after all. “I think I’m [too] old to have a big wedding and a big ole white dress and all that,” she said. “I gotta dial it back.”
To be clear, there’s no such thing as “too old” for any sort of wedding or dress—big, small, or otherwise—but everyone is entitled to whatever kind of special day will make them happy.
Paltrow announced her engagement to producer Brad Falchuk, of Glee and American Horror Story fame, on the cover of GOOP magazine’s “Sex and Love” issue earlier this month, and she debuted her stunning sapphire engagement ring last week at the Producers Guild Awards. She says that she’s “thrilled” about the engagement, but hasn’t had time to start planning the wedding yet because of how busy she’s been.
Though the actress-slash-mogul-slash-lifestyle-guru tends to make everything she does look easy, she opened up to ET about the fact that relationships tend to be one of the things in her life she’s always had to work the hardest at. “It’s a life-long project,” she said. “I think that there are certain people who have a really hard time with intimacy. I always say, I’m a good sister. I’m a good daughter. I’m a good girlfriend. I’m a good mother. That romantic slice of the pie chart of my life has always been where I find my deepest work... I just am trying to towards intimacy instead of being scared of it and I’m really lucky that I found a partner that’s patient and loves me and is willing to help me with my process.”
Another “easy”-looking thing in Paltrow’s life that actually wasn’t as effortless as it seems? Maintaining the sort of enviable #modernfamily relationship she now has with ex-husband Chris Martin. “I think that’s probably a big misconception about me or my life that things come easily or are easy, and it’s just not true,” she said. “It’s been really a process to get to the point where we can all be together and luckily I have a deeply loving ex-husband, who’s very open minded, and we’ve been able to create something. It’s for the kids. You don’t want your kids to suffer.”
Cheers to Paltrow, an inspiration for conscious coupling, uncoupling, and everything in between.