Choosing your bridesmaids, picking the girls that will stand by your side on your big day, is a big decision and not one that should be taken lightly, like, at all. To make it easier on yourself (and everyone else) though, we put together a handy-dandy guide to go by when trying to narrow down your potential bridesmaids.
Ask family members only.
If you have sisters (or sisters-in-law) you’re really close with, a good idea could be to only have immediate family in the wedding party, suggests Jessica Janik, Founder of The Invisible Bridesmaid. There’s no way your BFFs can argue with that and it ultimately ensures none of your friends feel left out. Even better if your guy has a couple brothers (or brother-in-laws) to stand by his side.
Consider who you’ll still be friends with 20 years from now.
Just because you happened to be a bridesmaid in your college roommate’s wedding doesn’t mean now that you're engaged a few years later that you have to ask her to be in your wedding party too, points out Janik. “If you’re no longer as close with a friend who you were once tight with way back when, it’s not necessary to ask them to be such a big part of your big day. People change and grow in different ways and that’s ok. Plus, it happens to everyone so don’t feel bad.”
Stick to those who will keep the peace (and have the time).
Go down your list of potential peeps and only ask those who, when you think about them, give you a sense of calm, recommends Jen Glantz, author of Always a Bridesmaid (For Hire). “If someone has a big personality, is typically the drama starter of the bunch or is just plain old busy, consider having them as just a guest and save your bridesmaid spots for those who will actually make you feel stress free." The less chaos and worry leading up to the big day and the day of, the better for you and your mental state (so important!).
Don’t stress the numbers.
Seriously, despite what friends and family and other peeps’ wedding pictures may lead you to believe, it’s not the end of the world if you don’t have an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. In fact, nowadays it’s becoming the norm not to — so no need to add gals just for the sake of evening things out.
Evaluate your friendships.
You may call a lot of girls your “best friend”, but obviously not every single one really is. Consider those who have always been there and supported you through it all, even if they maybe didn’t like your fiancé in the beginning, says Janik. “If someone brings up bad memories or you go to a negative place just uttering their name, then they definitely don’t need to be in your wedding party, let alone your life, however, that’s a story for another day.”
Don’t jump the gun.
Remember that once you ask someone to be in your wedding you can’t exactly take back your ask, warns Janik. “So really think about who you’d want by your side on your big day. You might be tempted and excited immediately following the engagement, but it’s best to take some time for the thrill to die down before popping the question.” If you’re on the fence about asking someone, consider that an out/no, she advises.