Every week, we give our readers a glimpse inside the mindset of a guy's brain on weddings with the help of the hilarious and smart editors at The Plunge. For their latest installment, they're opening up about their sister a.k.a. your future sister-in-law.
As men, we're taught to always say, "Yes, dear," because happy wife happy life, but many times it pays to say, "No," and not just because that stupid expression demeans us all. For example:
"Does this dress make me look fat?"
"Do you think she's prettier than me?"
"Does your sister hate me?"
Ask any of these and we've got a whole bag of nope for you. But if you must keep asking...
No, my sister doesn't hate you. At all.
Honestly, she likes you better than me. If she ever hated anyone it was me for not being a sister. So relax. You literally just have to continue being female and she will love you like the sister she never had, despite her repeated attempts to trade me for and/or dress me up like one.
No, my sister doesn't hate you. But you're still worried she does.
That's fair. You're the new woman in my life. In a way, you need her to like you even more than my mom. You and my mom will always have that whole situation to negotiate (Yeah, that's as far as we're going down that road.), but you and my sister are peers. My mom will always be happy as long as I'm happy. My sister doesn't have to be so nice.
Except she is, and always has been, so I'm not exactly sure why you're so concerned. All you're really trying to do is make a new friend. So make plans with her. Go shopping, take selfies, share gross secrets you don't want to share with me — whatever sisters do. Hashtag the crap out of all of it. Just call her. Actually, text her. Who calls anymore? No friend of mine!
Point is, it's not going to be some breakthrough moment. One day you're going to be sitting on the toilet texting her to send you Candy Crush lives and realize I'm nowhere to be found in the conversation. And then you'll never ask me about this again. #BFFs!
Okay... my sister hates you. But we're still okay.
We know it's important and we only want you to be happy, so we did the sensible thing. We lied. Turns out, you're right. She can't stand you. Would you stop throwing things? We're on your side!
Look, I see it too. So now what? If it were up to me, I'd say take the high road and just leave it alone. If you've attempted to bridge the divide and nothing's improved, stop making yourself crazy and just accept the situation for what it is. Keep the peace. At family gatherings, exchange pleasantries and then go find my uncle for a scotch.
If you need closure that badly, ask her face-to-face what her problem is. (Respectfully. No scotch involved.) Just know you won't be satisfied with her response. She hates you, remember?
Seriously, if you'd stop throwing things you'd like this part! Whether or not my sister likes you, I love you. You're going to be my wife, which means you always win these conflicts. Hopefully my sister comes around, but if not, her loss.