One of the most challenging parts of planning a wedding is dealing with family, whether your fiancé’s or your own. You want to be respectful and inclusive, but also want to plan the day YOU want to have. So what’s a bride to do when her future mother-in-law decides to take matters into her own hands and invites herself to get ready in the bridal suite? Our experts have a few tips for handling the situation.
If you thought you’d arranged every detail for the morning of your wedding, and then your FMIL has insisted that she’ll be joining you—including participating in hair and makeup!—proceed with caution. Emotions run high around a wedding, so make sure you’re being tactful and respectful of everyone’s feelings.
Begin by deciding if you are okay with her being there for some (or all) of the morning. If she’s usually calm and supportive, including her in the festivities might not be so bad. But if she can cause a little too much stress, consider ways to involve her without having her around all day.
A great way to include her, while still having some time to yourself the morning of the wedding, is to invite her to join you and your bridesmaids for lunch before the ceremony. If she’s doing her own hair and makeup, she’ll probably want to head back to her hotel room to get ready before the main event, giving you the best of both worlds.
Does she want to use the hair and makeup artist you’ve hired for yourself and your bridesmaids? The key factors here are budget and timing. If your ’maids are all paying for their own services, decide whether you can afford to cover your FMIL’s hair and makeup, or if you’ll need her to chip in to pay for her own. Keep in mind that, if you’re covering services for everyone, you’ll need to add her to that payment as well. Then talk to your stylists about the amount of time they’ll need to add one more person to the schedule. That could mean starting 45 minutes earlier than you’d planned, or may require bringing an additional stylist to help with the larger group.
If you can fit your FMIL into the services and the schedule, but still want a little me-time the morning of your wedding, schedule her appointments for later so she doesn’t have to arrive at the crack of dawn. This way you’ll get the morning with your ’maids that you want, as well as a little time with your fiancé’s mom that she’s craving.