Have you found that your favorite go-to sex position just isn’t doing it for you anymore? Are you worried you’ve lost your ability to orgasm or have truly mind-blowing sex as a result? Are you kind of unsure how you tell your spouse, “Honey, I know you think I like that, but I don’t anymore?”
Don’t freak out. This is a pretty common dilemma—most of us have been there. If your favorite sex position isn’t working for you anymore, you can do something about it. There is always an answer.
Sex is too fun and vastly adventurous to be limited by the sex ruts we fall into unknowingly. Because, honestly, sticking to one position is a sex rut. You need more in your life! This is why your favorite sex position isn’t working anymore, and what to do about it.
Humans crave variety
What we tend to forget with sex is that there are truly endless possibilities to what we can do to experience pleasure. The human body, the vulva especially, is a complex piece of anatomy. The clitoris is like a magical animal of its own. It’s a bit finicky and unpredictable at times.
What once worked to get you to orgasm may not forever. Additionally, the brain is a huge part of what turns you on and right now, your brain is bored with the same routine. It needs something new and fresh to get it excited again.
When we get used to the same kind of stimulation, your body stops responding in the same way. It’s a little like when you use your vibrator six times in one day and your clit feels numb for 24 hours (though, remember, you cannot get addicted to vibration); you have to try something else for a bit. It doesn’t always work out this way for everyone, but when it does, it’s important to acknowledge if something isn’t working for you.
Doggy style might have been your favorite, sexiest go-to thing for years. Now it just isn’t. That’s OK. We all adapt and change over time. Try something new. Experiment with alternative positions and find a new favorite. And remember, you can always come back to this one again in the future.
You’re actually just bored.
You are limiting yourself to what you know
You’re losing interest in Old Faithful because that is exactly what the position has become: Old Faithful. Sex needs to be exciting, passionate, and intense. Doing the same position every single time you have sex is not going to be hot forever.
Be open to new adventures. Try new things. You can even spice up Old Faithful in unique ways. If you love missionary, have you tried it with your hands tied to the bed frame? Not so old anymore, is it? If you love doggy, but it’s getting “meh,” try lying flat and putting your wand vibrator underneath you for a unique ride.
You’re not asking for what you (actually) want
Have you considered that your partner goes to this position because he or she knows this is your favorite position? When you’ve been married for a long time, it’s difficult to try and rework a system that has always worked. How can you know something is broken if nothing has led you to think it’s broken, you know?
You have to be willing to communicate. If you’re not feeling the spooning anymore, say you want to try new sex positions and spice things up. Few people are going to be against this. Need some ideas? We have some amazing tantric sex positions that will rock your world.
Our tastes change overtime
It all boils down to the beautiful art of growing up. Our tastes in many things change over time. You may have hated spicy food when you were a kid and love it now. You might have been a big fan of comic books as a teenager, but are more of a Salinger girl now.
The same is true with sex. One thing we may have loved can lose its luster. It might be that you simply need to find a new position that you like or it could be that you need to spice up the ones you love. There’s no reason to feel guilty about it.
It’s not your fault and it’s not your partner’s fault if your favorite position isn’t working for you anymore. Our bodies and minds evolve. You’re ready to move on to a new favorite, so get movin'!