Great sex, pleasure, and orgasm unleash a ton of feelings in us. It can be downright alarming to feel so many things after such an intimate experience.
Honestly, you may feel a whole range of emotions after really good sex. You might feel relaxed, connected to your partner, hyper, or even profoundly sad. How you feel after sex probably has nothing to do with the state of your relationship.
Even if it was a positive sexual experience, you might still feel sad and disconnected. You may love your partner beyond words and this can still happen! Or you always find that the classic “post orgasmic glow” fits you perfectly. You feel fantastic, relaxed, and content. Every woman has different experiences.
Do any of these feelings sound familiar? No matter your feelings after sex, you are normal!
Here are some reasons why you feel so many emotions (both high and low) after sex. Find the one(s) that works for you!
Why you feel fantastic after sex
You know that post-coital bliss? I.e. those feelings of joy, happiness, and profound relaxation. You feel so happy and connected to your partner. Ever wonder why that is? It’s more than that thing called love. It’s that thing called the brain.
When you have an orgasm (or most sexual pleasure), your body is flooded with feel-good hormones. Your limbic system is lighting up like a firework. Your brain is soaked in dopamine—the body’s reward hormone.
You’re also hit with oxytocin. This is nature’s pair-bonding, love hormone. It makes you feel close and connected to your partner after sex. Oxytocin relieves pain and anxiety. You feel one with the world because your brain is happy.
It’s awesome to feel safe and content after sex. But this might not be what you feel. And that is OK.
Why you feel sad sometimes after sex
Have you ever felt sad after sex? You’re in a loving relationship with someone you trust. You just had amazing, hot sex. You’re lying in your partner’s arms and suddenly feel puzzlingly downtrodden.
You’re sad and unsure why. You fall into a pit of despair after experiencing sexual pleasure. It doesn’t seem fair! This is actually due to Post Coital Dysphoria. Experts aren’t exactly sure what causes PCD, but it's likely linked to the flood of hormones that are released in our bodies after orgasm.
It is also possible that some of that post-sex shame is rooted in our subconscious feelings around sex as well. We live in a world that tells us sex is dirty; if we have it, we’re sluts. It’s hard not to internalize some of those messages, even if you consider yourself a very sex-positive person. You might be in a marriage and still feel complicated emotions around sex.
More research is certainly needed. Who wants to be bummed out after an amazing sex session?
According to a study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, half of women and 40 percent of men have experienced PCD at some point in their lives. See, you are not alone. This is very common condition, which is why we need more funding for scientists to find answers.
Why you feel energized after sex
You may have just had the best sex in the world. You may be sweaty and breathing hard. You should be wiped out after such a workout, but instead you’re hyper, revitalized and ready to take on the world.
It’s like your partner’s orgasm is your life force and you’re on jet fuel. You sucked out all of their energy for took it for yourself!
Why on earth does this happen to some of us? Again, it is perfectly normal. Post-orgasm, all of those chemicals released in the brain can make you very focused and in need of conversation, a walk, or something similar. You have a sense of relaxation that has helped you see more clearly. You might be antsy and want to do something.
All of that noise going on in your head is quiet.
There is no doubt that orgasms affect all of us in different ways. They’re not just these earth-shattering experiences wherein we collapse into sleep right after. This is a trite expectation. Our pleasure is so much more complex and marvelous than that.
Why orgasm ignites such a wide range of effects on all of us is a bit of a mystery. Perhaps we should all do some more, um, hands-on research?