Looking for something to really up the ante on your sex life that doesn’t involve putting on a sexy maid outfit or spanking your partner with a wooden kitchen spoon? Meaning, are you looking for a way to boost orgasms and connection in a way that is passionate and connective?
Two words, baby: tantric sex.
Tantric sex has been practiced for the last 5,000 years. It is definitely not your run-of-the-mill dirty nasty sex experience—tantric sex is a slow, sexy, emotional form of sex that practitioners and gurus believe has the ability to breed intimacy between partners. The problem? It can be a little complicated. Like, yogi-status complicated.
Luckily, we’ve got some super easy tantric sex positions for beginners. Remember, the key to all of these positions is to go slowly and set the mood with dim lighting and slow jams.
1. Sit to stand
Sit to stand might be on your regular à la carte sex menu, but adding a tantric twist takes it to all new levels. Instead of what might be your usual fast-paced thrusting, opt for a slow sensual motion.
Lie on the bed, with your tush on the edge of the mattress. Have your partner stand next to the bed. Rest your legs on his or her shoulders, straight above you.
Known in Tantra at Yab Yum, the Lotus is amazing for female orgasm. It gets you up close and personal for deep, passionate kissing and right against your partner’s pubic bone for carefree clitoral stimulation.
Have your partner sit on the bed or couch and straddle him or her, face-to-face. Rock back and forth. This position is super intimate and sexy, which is probably why it is the most famous Tantric sex position of all.
3. Comin’ Cobra
This take on the classic cowgirl gives you much needed clit access as well as face-to-face intimacy. Get on top of your partner. Once he or she is inside of you, swing your legs back so that you’re lying flat against your partner.
Your bodies should be perfectly aligned. Rest on your forearms on his or her chest for extra lift. You’re essentially in a baby cobra position, only with your partner (or toy) inside of you.
Keep in mind this position is not always comfortable for everyone. Do what feels good for you.
4. Reverse seated
I don’t know about you, but reverse cowgirl can actually be a pain. The reverse seated position takes all of the thigh burn out of it and adds in some much needed skin-on-skin action with your partner.
Have your partner kneel and lower yourself while backwards. He or she can wrap his or her arms around you, like a backward hug. Rock in a rhythmic motion for soothing love making.
5. Moodstruck Spoon
Spooning is an intimate sex position already, but adding a tantric twist can really get the volume up on this classic move. Set the mood with some lavender and rose scented candles and Frank Ocean’s Blonde album. (Trust us, it’s what you need.)
Start with some very slow, passionate kissing. Synchronize your breathing with your partner’s. Then, have your partner lie behind you and enter you. Keep things slow and passionate. Have him or her touch your body and interlace fingers. Spooning never felt so sexy.
6. No Frills Cunnilingus
One of the things that makes two people feel emotionally close during sex is serious attention to foreplay. If your partner can give you truly spectacular cunnilingus, he or she is on his or her way to being a Tantra pro already.
Tantra involves getting in on every one of your senses, including taste and smell. Meaning, some eye-opening head is on the table. Lie on your back and have him or her go to town, only slowly. You want to practice edging; the longer you can tease out your orgasm, the more connected you’ll feel in your body (and to your partner).
7. Tiny ball
Also known as the Method of Great Bee, the tiny ball allows for full depth penetration and control over thrusting rhythm. Climb onto your partner in cowgirl position. Pull your knees to either side of your body, like you’re sitting in a low squat. Opt for a rocking motion over bouncing up and down. This position is erotic because you are the one with all the power of motion.
Be sure to make lots of eye contact with your partner. Tantra is about emotional connection so, the more you can do to enable closeness, the better.
8. Flat Standing Doggy
This position gives you all the deep g-spot stimulation of doggy style, with much more intimate connection. Lie across the bed, stomach face down and feet on the floor. Have your partner stand behind you and enter you from behind.
Turn your head for sexy, erotic kisses. Have your partner lace his or her hands into your hair for extra control.
Gigi Engle is a sex educator and writer living in NYC. Her work has appeared on Cosmopolitan, Elle, Teen Vogue, Glamour, Allure, Marie Claire, and Bustle.