Orgasms come in many shapes and sizes. Some women may describe them as an electric shock wave, a volcanic eruption, a minor blip, a medium sized blip, or a series of frenetic impulses. Men describe the feeling in many of the same metaphoric terms. It varies greatly.
Orgasm, whether you have a penis or a vulva, is the involuntary release of tension at the height of sexual arousal. For most people it is highly pleasurable. The brain is flooded with oxytocin and dopamine. The vagina may be very wet and relaxed. For a man (or penis-owning person), orgasm typically ends with ejaculation; the release of sperm from the penis.
Did you know men can have orgasms and not ejaculate? Is your mind blown out of your beautiful skull right now? It’s true. Dry orgasms are a thing. This is everything you need to know about a cool thing you’ve never heard of before.
Multiple orgasms, less semen
If your partner is one of the people who can have multiple orgasms in a short period of time (good for you, girl), they may experience a dry orgasm at some point. The more times a person ejaculates semen, the less semen there is to shoot out the next time.
Now, don’t get it wrong. We don’t mean ever. Your partner is not forever dry just because he had a dry orgasm.
A male-bodied person makes anywhere from two milliliters and five milliliters of sperm every single day. If you have a marathon sex session and your partner has a bunch of orgasms in that pocket of time, that’s when a sperm-less orgasm may happen.
He may feel all the sensation of orgasm at the end of the romp, but he’s used up all his juice for the day. There’s no reason to freak out. It happens.
We rarely hear about the scope of sexual experiences and the nitty gritty of sexual wellness because most of the time we’re just trying to get even the most basic of sex education.
If your partner begins to notice that he (or they) is experiencing dry orgasms on a regular basis (as in, not just after a lot of sex, but whenever he has an orgasm), it may be time to see the doctor.
He may be face-to-face with retrograde ejaculation. This is when the semen is thrust into the bladder rather than out of the penis. Yes, you should be concerned. No, you don’t need to panic.
Usually retrograde ejaculation is caused by an enlarged prostate or, in some cases, specific medications. The prostate can become enlarged for a variety of reasons. Whatever the cause maybe, you should book an appointment with your general physician or proctologist ASAP. If your partner has diabetes, it may also affect ejaculation.
Even though the reason for having dry orgasms may be due to a medical condition, dry orgasms are not dangerous or medically harmful themselves. If semen is pushed into the bladder during orgasm, it will simply be released when your partner goes pee.
What about getting pregnant?
If your partner is having dry orgasms on a frequent basis, it will make it more difficult to conceive, should you be trying. If you’re looking to get pregnant, seeing a fertility specialist in this case can be beneficial. They will be able to offer insight into how to treat this issue and offer suggestions.
You need sperm in order to fertilize an egg so, if your partner isn’t producing sperm, your chances of conception are significantly lower. Don’t panic until you have all the information from a doctor who knows what they’re doing. Reading articles like this one are helpful, but they don’t replace medical professionals.
On a lighter note, if you’re not trying to conceive right now (or ever), your partner’s dry orgasms might be a bonus. Like we said, no sperm, no baby.
How to handle your partner’s dry orgasm situation
If your partner is having dry orgasms (from anything other than a lazy Sunday spent in bed), they may feel sensitive about the subject.
Anything that deviates from our normalized social script is considered “bad” or “abnormal.” When you aren’t bursting with ejaculatory mass every single time you get busy (or at all), it can be cause for distress.
Be empathetic to your partner. Create a space where they feel they can speak openly and honestly with you, without fear of judgement. When we don’t talk about our concerns or insecurities, we don’t do our relationships any good.
Have them see a doctor if this is happening regularly not because they need to be ejaculatory gods, but because it might be an actual medical concern. Get to the bottom of it and do so together.