I Got Too Drunk at a Friend’s Wedding. Do I Need to Apologize?

Depends on the damage done

Updated 08/23/17

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Once you’ve watched your friends say “I do” and share their first kiss, it’s time to hit the bar! And the open bar at a wedding is often highly anticipated by guests—causing some to over-indulge. It’s all in the name of love, right? So, if you got a little too drunk on love and had a few too many drinks at your friend’s wedding, should you apologize after the fact? Our experts weigh in.

Weddings are a great opportunity to let loose with friends, and the free booze might seem like an open invitation. But if you wake up the next morning feeling a lot hungover and a little embarrassed, you may want to set things right.

First, remember that one drunk guest won’t ruin your friends’ memories of their wedding day—as long as nothing got too out of hand. So if all you did was sing a little too loudly, dance enthusiastically, and maybe tell the groom one too many times that you are so happy he married your best friend? There’s a pretty good chance the couple had just as many drinks as you did. Chalk it up to the experience and leave it at that.

But if you got drunk to the point that you needed special attention—whether a groomsman had to carry you to a taxi, a waiter caught you before you knocked over the cake, or the microphone had to be removed from your hands before you made an impromptu toast—an apology is definitely in order. And if you caused some sort of scene, you probably should apologize to more than just the happy couple.

Begin with the newlyweds. If they’ve headed straight to their honeymoon, arrange for a bottle of champagne to be delivered to their room. Are they delaying their departure? Have flowers or chocolates delivered to their home, or offer to take them out to dinner or drinks (if drinking seems like a bad call, opt for coffee or lunch) as a peace offering. Acknowledge your behavior, apologize profusely, and ask for forgiveness. Hopefully, whatever “drunk you” did wasn’t enough to permanently damage your friendship!

If it’s appropriate, now is the time to move on to the couple’s parents as well. A handwritten note is always welcome, as is a gesture like flowers sent to their home. As the evening’s hosts, they deserve a formal acknowledgement of your ill-doings. Then, move on to any friends who may have been caught in the crossfire. A simple text or call accepting responsibility for any damage you might have caused will do. And next time? Maybe sip some water between those glasses of champagne.

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